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Why Bennifer 2.0 is the real deal: ‘J.Lo was always obsessed with Ben’

When Jennifer Lopez decided to sing the Neil Diamond classic “Sweet Caroline” at the Global Citizen concert on May 2, it served double duty.

Not only was the tune — the unofficial anthem of the Boston Red Sox — a diss at her recent ex, former Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. It was also a flirty wink at her long-ago ex, Ben Affleck, who appeared just after her at  the event.

“It was absolutely for Ben! And it also worked to piss off A-Rod,” an Affleck source told The Post.
When Affleck and Lopez — dubbed “Bennifer” at the height of their first relationship, which lasted from 2002 to 2004 — were spotted vacationing together in Montana days later, close pals were shocked by what looks like a rekindling.

“We thought they were just friends,” said the Affleck source. “Even people close to Ben were taken by surprise.”

Then again, a source who knows both Affleck and Lopez told The Post: “She was always obsessed with Ben. They have always loved each other.”

In 2002, Affleck and Lopez were a match made in tabloid heaven. She was the New York glamour puss. He was the low-key Boston guy, into baseball, beer and poker. They met on the set of “Gigli,” with Affleck starring as a hitman and Lopez as an assassin sent to keep him in line.

The movie would prove  to be a flop. But the stars clicked — and became bigger than ever off-screen. Despite the differences in their Hollywood lives, they found compatibility in their backgrounds. Lopez was a working-class kid from the Castle Hill section of the Bronx; Affleck had similar roots in Cambridge, Mass.

“I remember Ben bringing her to a friend’s party,” Lopez’s then-publicist Rob Shuter told The Post. “It was beer and red wine in plastic Solo cups. She sat on a folding chair and loved it. Being J.Lo is complicated and Ben was able to simplify it.”

“The only time you didn’t feel like you were with ‘J.Lo’,” Shuter said of her carefully crafted image, “was when Ben was around.”

Lopez was still married to her second husband, dancer Cris Judd, when she met Affleck. Months later, they were split and Affleck and Lopez were publicly together. It was the era when tabloid magazines like Us Weekly and Star were at their buzziest — and the paparazzi at their craziest. “Bennifer” was the couple of the moment.

Their relationship was fueled by “electricity,” Shuter, author of “The Four Word Answer,”  recalled. “It was the most exciting thing to be around.”

The apex of the relationship came in the summer of 2002, with the filming of Lopez’s “Jenny From the Block” music video — in which the two were seen kissing in a Bentley and laughing at magazine coverage of their romance. Affleck appeared the ultimate doting boyfriend: following J.Lo out of her limo, pumping gas, and literally kissing her butt while the two cruised on a catamaran.

Jennifer ­Lopez and Ben ­Affleck — both ­recently single — shocked the world by showing up together in Montana for a vacation last week.
Jennifer ­Lopez and Ben ­Affleck — both ­recently single — shocked the world by showing up together in Montana for a vacation last week. Bruce/Javiles / BACKGRID

In real life, he also knew how to pay her the kind of attention she craved. Affleck showed up unannounced for a Lopez performance on “Today.” Another time, he surprised her on the red carpet with flowers. She returned the favor by dedicating a song to him, “Dear Ben,” on her “This Is Me … Then” album: “You’re perfect / I just can’t control myself.”

Affleck found his way into the fabric of Lopez’s family. “Ben taught Guadalupe [Lopez’s mom] how to gamble,” recalled Shuter of Affleck, a notorious gambler once banned from a Las Vegas casino for card counting. “And she won a massive sum in Atlantic City.”
Bennifer got engaged in November 2002 with a six-carat pink diamond.

They teamed up for the movie “Jersey Girl,” but the August 2003 release of “Gigli” highlighted cracks in the relationship, as the couple was stuck promoting a stink bomb.

“It almost appeared that they had guns to their heads,” said a photographer who snapped the two at the “Gigli” premiere.

“Ben’s ego is bigger than hers,” said a source who worked with them. “‘Gigli’ tanking was a bigger deal to him and he was jealous of her superstardom. Photographers would see Ben and Jen together and they would ask for Jennifer to stand alone. Ben would step out of the shot but not like it. The photographers would say, ‘J.Lo alone! J.Lo alone!’ But they never asked for Ben to stand alone.”

A brief history of Bennifer 1.0

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‘GIGLI’: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez meet on the set of the flop “Gigli” (right) in early 2002. In June of that year, she divorces husband Cris Judd. Rumors swirl about her and Affleck.
‘GIGLI’: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez meet on the set of the flop “Gigli” (right) in early 2002. In June of that year, she divorces husband Cris Judd. Rumors swirl about her and Affleck. ©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Eve
CONFIRMED: The co-stars reveal their romance in August 2002, smooching and cruising Los Angeles in J.Lo’s Bentley for a music video.
CONFIRMED: The co-stars reveal their romance in August 2002, smooching and cruising Los Angeles in J.Lo’s Bentley for a music video.FameFlynet / BACKGRID
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ENGAGED: In November 2002, Affleck proposes with a six-carat pink diamond ring from Harry Winston said to be worth $1.2 million.
ENGAGED: In November 2002, Affleck proposes with a six-carat pink diamond ring from Harry Winston said to be worth $1.2 million.WireImage
VIDEO LOVE: The “Jenny from the Block” video premieres in November 2002 — with Affleck pumping gas and literally kissing J.Lo’s renowned rear end on a boat.
VIDEO LOVE: The “Jenny from the Block” video premieres in November 2002 — with Affleck pumping gas and literally kissing J.Lo’s renowned rear end on a boat.2002 RAMEY PHOTO AGENCY 310-828
‘JERSEY GIRL’: Affleck and Lopez team up again, for this 2003 movie — yet another box-office bomb. The couple calls off their wedding in the fall, then officially split in January 2004.
‘JERSEY GIRL’: Affleck and Lopez team up again, for this 2003 movie — yet another box-office bomb. The couple calls off their wedding in the fall, then officially split in January 2004.Getty Images
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Houston Curtis, a professional gambler who has played poker with Affleck, remembered that Lopez gave her fiancée the business during a game at LA’s Bicycle Club. “Ben was playing in a game with [poker pro] Annie Duke when an announcement came over the PA system,” Curtis told The Post. “It said, ‘Ben, you have a call from Jennifer! Ben Affleck, you have a call from Jennifer!’ He looked annoyed, shrugged and went to answer the phone.”

Another time, Curtis recalled, Affleck was in a game at a Beverly Hills home when a player lost a hand to a pair of queens. Grumbled Affleck: “Try living with a queen.”

The source who knows both Ben and Jennifer told The Post: “They broke up because he cheated on her and, at the time, he had the chance to be a very big star. What he was doing with her didn’t fit into his image. He had all these people in his ear.”

In 2008, Affleck said: “If I have a regret, it was doing the music video.”

Still, “I think he was the happiest he’s ever been with her,” said the source who knows both of them.

The couple called off the wedding in September 2003 and officially ended their relationship in January 2004. In March, “Jersey Girl”  tanked at the box office. By June, Lopez wed singer Marc Anthony.

The only time you didn’t feel like you were with “J.Lo” was when Ben was around.

Former Jennifer Lopez publicist Rob Shuter

Lopez would go on to divorce Anthony, have a relationship with Casper Smart — an actor 17 years her junior — and date Rodriguez from 2017 to March of this year. Affleck was married to actress Jennifer Garner from 2005 to 2018 and dated “Saturday Night Live” producer Lindsay Shookus and actress Ana de Armas.

Over the years, Lopez and Affleck came back to being friends. According to an insider, Affleck got his second chance with her after Rodriguez was worn down by the work of dating J.Lo — the image, not the woman.

“A-Rod never understood what Jennifer needed to do to maintain her public image,” the insider said. “He was looking for a quieter life and could not keep up with her need to be in front of the public all the time.”

A rep for Rodriguez denied this. Lopez’s representative had no comment.

Despite reports to the contrary, sources told The Post that Rodriguez is not pining away for Lopez. Said one: “Alex is content where he is and is working on the Timberwolves deal.

As that relationship was ending, TMZ reported, Affleck sent Lopez a note while she was filming the movie “Shotgun Wedding,” telling  Lopez how great she looked.

The insider told The Post that the second time around could be the charm for Bennifer.
“Playing the field and going out with younger guys is the last thing Jennifer wants to do,” said the insider. “She does not want to go on Raya and get to know new people. They both have fond memories of being together.”

Shuter believes the time apart will work in their favor.  “Jennifer does not drink [or]  party, she works out every day,” Shuter said, referencing Affleck’s well-known stints in rehab for substance abuse.    “She brings discipline to Ben’s life. He brings normality to hers. Ben lives a very normal life.”

“A lot of us would love to have a second chance with the one who got away,” Shuter added.  “I won’t be surprised if they get engaged again. As far as I know, she never gave back the ring.”

Additional reporting by Ian Mohr