Celebrity News

Bride of Kanyestein emerges in satin bedsheet

If you’re looking for double-stick tape in France, sorry, you are out of luck, Pierre.

Every last bit of it is on Kim Kardashian’s ample breasts.

The soon-to-be Stepford wife stepped out for her rehearsal dinner in a what could only be described as a white satin sheet from the nicer section of Bed Bath and Beyond with tuxedo lapels stuck to her preternaturally buoyant boobs.

Her wedding planner, Kanye West, also dared to bare his man cleavage in a tacky low-cut shirt and tan suit.

The style circus is just another stomach-turning chapter in the Parisian version of “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” all of which seems to have been made by Valentino, who hosted a luncheon for the couple today at his home, Château de Wildeville.

All week, the bootylicious bride-to-be and her scantily clad clan of reality riffraff — with the exception of her bloated brother Rob, who is probably in a fat-melting chamber in the basement of the Bastille and only allowed to emerge after he’s dropped a solid 40 pounds — have been air-kissing their way through the city that brought us the Enlightenment and now “The Kim and Kanye Wedding Spectacular,” airing soon on E!

There have been cocktail parties, bachelorette bacchanals and stately events that make Will and Kate’s nuptials look like a shotgun Vegas wedding.

Though what about a 58-year-old mother of the bride in a minidress, “Lord” Scott Disick and a roving camera crew doesn’t scream royalty?

The Kardashians are riding Kanye’s Givenchy coattails all the way to legitimacy in the world of celebrity and fashion.

And the mercurial hip-hop star is getting exactly what he wants—a vacant Barbie doll to dress up in all of the finery the top designers have to offer.

She has been more than happy to step into both the bizarre role and beautiful gowns.

Now, we breathlessly await to see if the fairy-tale wedding will be at Versailles, where reportedly 600 of their loyal subjects — I mean, friends — will toast the happy couple, or more likely at Forte di Belvedere in Florence.

And we’ll maybe be laughing at them behind their couture-covered backs.

Cars of guests wait to access the Palace of Versailles which was booked for a private tour on the eve of the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.EPA