Boomer Esiason was mocked for his lack of pigmentation at his Friars Club Roast at the Waldorf Astoria, where we were reminded repeatedly that the former Jets quarterback never won a Super Bowl, and that his real name is Norman.
Jeff Ross said, “You are the whitest man on earth. Even Hitler would have said, ‘Take it down a notch.’ ”
Tom Cotter said, “His last name is loosely translated from the Norwegian as ‘boring albino.’ ”
Rich Eisen said, “Boomer is starting to look like Philip Seymour Hoffman — but with less muscle tone.”
Jim Norton said, “Roasting you before a Super Bowl is like roasting Paris Hilton before a spelling bee.”
Esiason was able to counterpunch. When Giants co-owner Jonathan Tisch was introducing New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and asked, “Where is he?” Boomer offered, “In the kitchen.”
Laughing hard were John McEnroe, Gilbert Gottfried, Daniel Boulud, Victor Cruz, Mitchell Modell, Regis Philbin, Dolphins owner Steve Ross, Patriots owner Bob Kraft and Jets owner Woody Johnson — who, said Jeff Ross, “has the best porn name since Carlos Danger.”