NEXT month comes “Date Night” with Steve Carell, Tina Fey and Taraji P. Henson, who said: “They were great to work with. We had such laughs. They impro vise a lot. And I do that a lot.”

Since when does she do improv? She was up last year for an Oscar for the heavy-duty role of Queenie in Brad Pitt‘s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” hardly a fall-down slapstick role.

“If you look closely at my characters, you laugh a lot. I improvised some of Queenie. Comedy is being able to laugh in vulnerable moments.”

Yeah, OK, whatever. What do you play in this?

“Listen, two numbskulls steal a Mafioso’s dinner reservation, get themselves into all kinds of trouble, and I play an overworked, stressed-out detective, and here come these cockamamie characters, and I believe their story.”

And how’s it been since the merry-go-round stopped?

“I stay grounded. Keep outside the hype. I’m trying to get used to being recognized. Like if I have to crawl out of bed to get Tylenol, I can’t do the sweats and mix-match anymore. With today’s cellphone technology, everybody has a camera. And I’m watching that bottom line. I keep doing Target and Marshalls. And I’m basically just my son’s mom. I invest in his education. I’m still in my starter house. My car is Middle America. Listen, when you come from nothing you have to learn.

“And I keep working. I did a Tyler Perry movie. I remember Lou Gossett telling me, ‘Cash in that Academy Award nominee check immediately. It’s a two-week window before everyone forgets. Don’t have expectations. Just keep working. You won’t necessarily get to play Cleopatra. Even white actors aren’t guaranteed success afterward.’ ”

MARISSA Shorenstein stepped down as Gov. Paterson‘s press secretary. She comes from a wealthy family. She’s worked for Al Gore. More than this week’s quickie Page 3 story, she’s terrific, she’s principled, she’s ethical. I know. I’ve spent a lifetime tiptoeing through the manure that is Albany.

Hillary‘s White House chief of staff, my friend Maggie Williams, got innocently embroiled in some legality that ensnared the Clintons. She had to hire her own lawyer at her own expense. It cost pain, aggravation and a fortune. She and her husband relocated to Paris for a while to breathe. Maggie today is very successful. She runs a successful crisis management firm.

Whoever gets Marissa Shorenstein after this will be lucky.

WE just had the wearin’ of the green. Comes next month’s tax season. The sharin’ of the green.

UNDER the right circumstances even the Sopranos will sing. The Vincents — Pastore and Curatola — do April 12 at Live Nation’s Gramercy Theater for a “New Rat Pack Revue” or something . . . Mary J. Blige into acting lessons to play the filmed life story of Nina Simone . . . Gwyneth Paltrow: “I’m a big fan of body doubles. Whether it’s a nude scene or a stunt, I just say, ‘Bring ’em in. I’ll be in my trailer.’ ” . . . Prince Charles‘ bodyguard schleps a special cushion for the prince to sit on. He has back trouble. Now seems the missus Camilla has her own rear-end problems. Now her people carry a small embroidered pillow for the behind of the duchess or whatever she’s called . . . Natalie Portman: “It’s a different way of living when everyone knows who you are. I mean, it’s like ‘Cheers.’ ” . . . Céline Dion misses those 40 pounds she packed on while pregnant. She says: “My body felt so warm and soft and comfortable. I was disappointed when it all went away.”

MUST be actresses who get Oscars give the same mesmerizing per formance when just talking to someone across a table. Last year at this time, just before the Academy Awards, Kate Winslet — who’d been nominated for “The Reader” — and I, just the two of us, sat in a small, closed, private room off the Plaza Hotel’s Oak Room. I remember clearly her talking all about her husband, director Sam Mendes:

“I stay grounded by keeping family close. I’m with them almost all the time. My husband has been magnificent. When I was in London for ‘The Reader,’ there were flowers from him. In Berlin, a huge bouquet with the note: ‘We love you, Mum. From Sam and the kids.’

“It was even Sam who told me the news that morning that I’d been nominated. I’d been playing Wii tennis at home with my 5-year-old son. It was Sam who came in with an odd look on his face and, clearly thrilled, told me the news. Sam brought Champagne home later.”

Can it be she didn’t know? Can it be she was giving another Oscar-worthy performance across this table? Can it be, as we now read, she did not have any idea her second husband — as the reports have stated — might’ve been into more than Champagne?

Her lawyer stated that this announcement of their seven-year marriage being over has been in the works for a while.

I don’t get it.

FROM a real estate broker: “Things are so bad I can’t attract people to open houses anymore, even when sand wiches are served.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.