No snarky remarks about there still being just one office that hasn’t been filled in this administration — that of president. No such jokes. Now we thrill to today’s historic process, the inauguration.

George Washington. Surely you remember him. Back when we used to be able to buy things for a buck, he was on that dollar bill.

Anyway, our first prez took our first inauguration on April 30, 1789, in NYC’s Federal Hall. It was crowds, artillery shots and church bells, and he established America’s custom of ending with, “So help me God.”

Unanimously elected in March, winter made travel impossible. Unable to count the votes until April, days then lapsed until Congress sent him news. John Adams was his VP.

Martha, in Mount Vernon, joined after he set off on horseback finally arriving on a barge rowed from New Jersey.

Preferring the title “His Most Benign Highness” — which, it is whispered, Bloomberg himself would have liked, at noon George settled on “President of the United States.”

Thus began a tradition that continues until today. The General/Benign Highness/First President capped the ceremony with an inaugural address (no teleprompter) specially written for the occasion.

1793, his second inauguration, in Philadelphia’s Congress Hall, only 135 words were used. With his hand on his own Bible, it opened randomly to Genesis 49:13.

Thomas Jefferson. 1801. First to hold the ceremony in DC. At the Senate.

Approaching on foot he afterward returned to his boarding house for dinner. The re-election, on horseback to what was then called the President’s House, created a gathering that grew subsequently into the procession now called the inaugural parade. John Adams did not attend Jefferson’s inauguration. No idea why.

I only know my namesake didn’t invite me.

1837. Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren rode a wooden carriage built from the USS Constitution remnants. That tradition existed until outgoing Jackson remained in the Capitol signing legislation whereupon he was bounced out officially at noon. John Quincy Adams did not attend Jackson’s inauguration. No idea why.

I only know it’s another namesake who also didn’t invite me.

1869. Ulysses S. Grant replaced Andrew Jackson, who did not attend Grant’s ceremonies. This I know why. Because Ulysses wouldn’t let him sit in the presidential carriage. Apparently Ulysses was as starchy as his first name.

1840. Our ninth president William Henry Harrison took 8,495 words and two hours in freezing weather. If we’ve forgotten Willie it’s because, not wearing a coat, he got pneumonia and died a month later.

1853. Franklin Pierce placed his hand on his law book, not the Bible.

March 1865, long before anyone knew he might cop an Oscar, came Lincoln. At his second swearing-in, he invoked God’s speedy end to the Union’s Civil War.

1909. William Howard Taft moved the whole thing indoors. He was cold.

1913. Wartime. Deeming it inappropriate, our 28th commander-in-chief Woodrow Wilson canceled the expected ball. He also faced a Women’s Suffragette Movement Parade down Pennsylvania Avenue. They fought for the vote. They didn’t give a fig about Hillary’s hair.

1922. Calvin Coolidge. Striped trousers, morning coat, mom’s Bible. His justice of the peace/notary father swore him in. This, our 35th inaugural, was the first broadcast nationally.

Herbert Hoover. Rainy day. Dirigibles overhead. 1929, almost a century ago, he spoke of the failure of our criminal justice system and impotence of the federal government to enforce its laws.

Our 20th Amendment moved Inauguration Day to Jan. 20, following the Electoral College’s certification of the vote. Last chief of state to take the oath in March was 1933, Roosevelt’s first election. First attending morning service with his wife at St. John’s Episcopal Church, FDR, too, set a precedent.

Truman, 1949. The 10 p.m. ball was at the National Guard Armory. Thousands of his Kansas revelers swarmed the city. Trains arrived every two minutes — possibly because they were so glad to get out of Kansas. The parade stretched seven miles. It was the first openly integrated event and first nationally televised.

1957. Eisenhower. His hand was on a West Point Bible.

1961. John F. Kennedy delivered the now immortal phrase: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

1981. Reagan broke tradition by staging the ceremony at the Capitol’s west instead of east front to hold more visitors.

The simple ceremony has now osmosed into a 24-hour hoo-ha with parades, feasts, balls, bull, engraved invites, secret sexy service, cookies shaped like a White House, and Mrs. Obama sporting something she could never have afforded before he got the job in order to hop Air Force One with her private staff and visit a country she’d never seen before.

Let’s hear it for the stars and stripes forever.