The MTV Video Music Awards, simultaneously the best and worst night in music of the year, returned last night with 100 percent less Disney star twerking. But there’s still plenty to talk about.
Here were the night’s most memorable moments — the good and the bad.
Best:
Taylor Swift performed a literal showstopper
Swift took to the stage for the first ever live performance of her new single, “Shake It Off,” the pure pop jam launching her new era of officially leaving the acoustic guitar in the tailwinds. The number was one big, glittery spectacle but with a classic Swift twist, echoing the girl next door vibe of her new music video. Swift stopped her performance half-way through to “re-think” a jump off a giant “1989” (the name of her new album.) As she walked back down to rejoin her dancers, she muttered, “I don’t care if it’s the VMAs, I’m not jumping off of there. I saw all kinds of… people getting bit by snakes… Dangerous.”
Kim Kardashian introduced Sam Smith
Whoever planned out the performance introductions certainly has a sense of humor. In a hilarious head-scratching pairing, Kim Kardashian introduced crooner Sam Smith’s performance of “Stay With Me.” In her signature sexy baby voice, Kardashian said, “Sometimes you hear a voice and just know it’s special.” Oh, sweet irony.
But Sam Smith was also just pretty much perfect
Sometimes all you need is an Adele-sized voice and a microphone. Stay with us, Sammy.
A very ballsy commercial got us talking
An anti-smoking commercial came hard for celebrities, calling out everyone from Lady Gaga to Rihanna to Orlando Bloom as unpaid tobacco spokespeople for their smoking habits that give bad companies free marketing. The truth hurts.
Katy Perry and Sam Smith were besties
The two sat next to each other, and at one point, seemed to play the always important role of crowd mean girls (usually gleefully filled by Rihanna). After 5 Seconds of Summer performed, the camera panned to the duo, who politely clapped with approximately zero enthusiasm.
But Katy planned her perfect outfit with someone else
Perry and rapper Riff Raff paid tribute to Britney Spears’ and Justin Timberlakes’ iconic denim duds at the 2001 VMAs. The awesome nod was an attempt to draw attention to the new remix of Perry’s throwback track “This Is How We Do.” Be warned that it is awful and you should just enjoy this picture without suffering through listening to the song.
Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora transformed into black widows
As fun as their “Kill Bill”-inspired music video for “Black Widow” is, it seemed like a bit of a missed opportunity for some super sweet spiderweb stuff. Luckily Azalea and Ora course-corrected tonight with some slinky spider suits, a webbed background and a posse of red-bellied ballerinas. It was enough to make a fella want to get bit.
Beyonce got emotional
Don’t freak out on us, Beygency, but Beyonce’s album sampler was a snooze, paling in comparison to her epic, career-spanning Super Bowl smash last year. But she just about made up for it at the end when she teared up (16:23) as her hubby Jay Z and baby Blue Ivy joined her onstage. Were they putting the divorce rumors to rest… or just covering up to hold off for a surprise divorce album that will drop any night now?! You decide.
Worst:
Nicki Minaj barely kept it together
Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande and Jessie J’s opening of the show with their smash hit “Bang Bang” was supposed to be one of those big, once-in-a-lifetime VMA team-ups.. Instead, all anyone’s ever going to remember is that Nicki couldn’t get her outfit on quick enough (after performing in a different look for “Anaconda” earlier in the medley) and had to hold the whole thing together across her chest, making for a very awkward conclusion. Call it the night’s anti-Miley moment.
Plus, there was no snake
The biggest news going into the night was that one of Nicki’s back-up dancers was bit by a snake during rehearsal. It seems that caused the rapper to axe whatever plans she had for what was probably the inclusion of an anaconda. This would have been awesome, and hopefully have referenced Britney Spears’ “Slave 4 U” python. But we did get some super hot floor humping, so we’ll call this one a draw.
Jay Pharoah had to host without the title
Throughout the entire show, the “SNL” MVP popped up to talk about the “Artist to Watch” award, but mostly just to make jokes and do impressions of his favorite targets like Kanye and Jay Z. He was pretty stellar, which makes it all the more shady that MTV didn’t give him the host title to pad out his resume. (Just go ahead and fudge it like the rest of us, Pharoah. We won’t tell.)
Robin Williams sort of got a tribute
Before heading into a commercial break, MTV awkwardly played about 10 seconds of a Coldplay song while showing a random slideshow of pictures of Robin Williams. It felt like such a random after thought, it was borderline disrespectful.
Jason Derulo and Demi Lovato were annoying
Introducing Maroon 5, who were playing the VMAs for the first time ever, both Derulo and Lovato gave themselves super professional shout-outs for their upcoming tours, apropos to nothing. Not a good look.
There was so, so, so much Becky G
And it was all to discuss really not interesting crap about CoverGirl makeup and, in the pre-show, planned photobombs. To add insult to injury, she didn’t even get to perform “Shower,” which is a wildly awesome song that every tween can confirm totally deserves to be on your iPod.
‘Cotton Eye Joe’ made a comeback
The track backed a Jimmy Fallon gag of a camera panning to celebrities as the “hug cam,” “high-five cam” and “give the person next to you $5 cam.” The joke was bad, but not nearly as painful as having to remember that song. And now having it stuck in our heads once again.
Miley Cyrus got serious
Last year, she stripped down to her undies and twerked all over teddy bears and Robin Thicke. This year she lectured us about homeless kids. Stay in your lane, please, and twerk, monkey, twerk.