Celebrity News

Sean Parker slams ‘FiOSgate’ in epic rant

Facebook co-founder Sean Parker has hit back over “FiOSgate” by taking fire at gossip columns including Page Six and Gawker in an insane rant.

Parker objected to a story in The Post’s news section that neighbors were upset with him for turning one of Greenwich Village’s most famous blocks into a snowbank so he could get Verizon FiOS installed in his $20 million home.

The co-Napster founder says he does own a house on that street, but no longer lives there, and was not responsible for the installation of Verizon FiOS cables nor the shoveling of snow.

He e-mailed us about the story, first reported by Gawker Media site Valleywag: “Your headline might as well have been from an Onion article, perhaps it should have read: ‘Snowplow succeeds in moving snow from one location to another, angers neighbors.’  In all seriousness, tell me your real thoughts on Gawker media and their decision to cover this hard hitting scandal in the first place?”

Even though Page Six didn’t follow up on the story, he added, “You probably feel as though Nick Denton, with his reputation as a legendary muckraker, a real Bob Woodward type, leaves you no choice but to jump on every scoop that he and his team of misfit mini-me’s manage to break at Gawker. If you didn’t fast-follow, you’d risk being left in the dust by the frenzied pace with which he and his deranged little elves can churn out under-reported, nonsensical, lowbrow bulls - - t.

“You . . . must feel constant, unrelenting pressure from Denton, that sinister little beast that he is, always nipping at your heels like a tiny obnoxious dog (the kind of dog whose head could only be a fraction the size of Denton’s giant oversized pumpkin head). . . Nick Denton is basically Joseph Goebbels’ annoying little shitzu (sic).

“You’re always going to be less irritating and unfortunately much, much easier to sue since you don’t have the luxury of operating your super-villain lair out of some tin pot banana republic like the Cayman Islands. [Gawker recently responded to a suit from Quentin Tarantino claiming the company was based in the Cayman Islands.] When compared to the ferocity of Goebbels’ fleet of diminutive attack dogs, Page Six is now the slow, soft, fluffy, methodical and even sometimes — wait for it — accurate NY gossip rag. If Denton is Goebbels’ shitzu (sic), then that makes you Murdoch’s dobermin (sic) pincher (sic), politely sleeping by the fire for most of the day and only occasionally waking up to bark when the doorbell rings.” Grrr.