New movie. “Deliver Us From Evil.” Paranormal. Malignant forces. Bad bad LeRoy Brown bad. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s spooky scary sicky thriller chiller.
Olivia Munn’s in it. No line on that face. Not an enlarged pore. Not one hair on her chin. In sunlight, flawless. Slim. Not a misplaced bulge. I tell you the truth, it was depressing.
“The film’s based on a true New York story. I play the real cop’s supportive wife. They’re now divorced. But she was on set with me and led me through how it all was.”
Olivia personally: “I don’t diet. I eat plenty. Lunch was chicken marsala, miso soup, spare ribs. I send up Korean and Indian room service. To combat my OCD, a trainer helps me work out every day 6 a.m. I don’t know what he does, but it helps. We talked over the weekend.
“I’m Chinese so I have thick hair, which I don’t brush, and use different products. I love vintage shopping.” Her jewelry? “Fred Leighton. Borrowed. They’ll rip it off before I fly back to LA.”
Eric Bana. Also gorgeous. “I play the cop who was the film’s police adviser. I fed off his energy. He worked in The Bronx, which comes off tougher and darker than you’d imagine. Bruckheimer actually gave me my first American job. We’ve stayed in touch, and then this came up.”
About his hometown, Melbourne: “I live there. Great city. Heart and soul of Australia. They don’t ask what you do. They ask: ‘Where do you want to eat?’ ”
OK. So would you take kids to see this movie? “No.”
And Joel McHale, host of E!’s “The Soup”: “My half-psychotic character’s named Butler. I use knives instead of tasers.”
Pay attention
Hayman Island in Australia’s Great Barrier Reef Whitsunday Islands — with which I know you’re all familiar — reopened after a two-year redo. Everyone’s guested there: Kidman, Kylie, Connery, Clarkson, koalas and Sol Kerzner, who started it . . . NOT in the Haymans, but the Hamptons: Alec Baldwin feeding the baby at Serafina . . . NOT on Daddy’s links, Eric Trump golfing in West Virginia.
Film fight over ‘Hands’
Two dudes I don’t know, titles I don’t know, but whose B.S. I know, said their Jonathan Jakubowicz film “Hands of Stone” stars Robert De Niro as boxer Ray Arcel, Usher as Sugar Ray, Édgar Ramírez as champ Roberto Durán. Also Ellen Barkin. And: “Fox, Warner, Weinstein studios are fighting over it. Pummeling. There’s blood on the reels.” Yeah, right. So these thumpers are money-hombres behind this? “Naah,” said one. “It’s a small arts thing.” “Yeah, we only get 10 percent,” said the other.
Jeter doesn’t just walk for coffee
Sunday 4:50 p.m. Derek Jeter out of a chauffeur-driven car into a 52nd and Eighth Starbucks . . . Lea Michele rumored for the lead in B’way’s “Funny Girl” revival, but many involved want to rain on her parade saying she’s no Fanny Brice or Barbra Streisand . . . Tony winner Audra McDonald got a standing screaming ovation at Thursday’s “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill.”
Joan listens to a different doctor
Joan Rivers stays on the yellow brick road to Dr. Oz. He prescribed raisins fermenting in gin to stay in her fridge. “One tablespoon daily helps my joints,” she says. Not those she plays in, those she walks on . . . Another fabulous hint? Poo~Pourri spray. Kelly Osbourne hands it beforehand to whomever uses her guest john. Listen, what can I tell you? If her john doesn’t smell, the item does.
So this doctor told the patient to remove his nice neat blue lawyerly suit. He removed it. Under the nice neat blue lawyerly pants — ready Freddie had no underdrawers. Nothing. Not even a G-string. Zero between his zipper and Big Dipper.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.