Alec Baldwin’s rant about why he’s leaving New York makes you think, doesn’t it? It makes you think about calling up Alec with the phone numbers of some helpful moving companies.
Here are some other current New York celebrities who would make excellent citizens of Los Angeles.
Spike Lee
Hey, Spike, there’s a place where people who make lots of lousy movies feel right at home.
But, when you’re taking a break from trying to get George Zimmerman murdered by Tweeting out the home address of random old people, ease up on the demented anti-gentrification rants, okay?
Those don’t work so well when you live on Park Avenue. Also, news flash: People actually like that the policing, schools and garbage pickup have gotten better since the 1970s.
Madonna
Remind us who you are again? Sort of like a rough draft of Lady Gaga, right? Oh, and please don’t try to make Lourdes the next you.
Alex Rodriguez
Your credibility has been suspended forever, but all the lying and cheating would be forgiven if only you could get a hit in the clutch.
Put it this way: No. 2 is about to be retired. No. 13 will be up for grabs again pretty soon. Just go away-Rod.
Tom Brady
What are you doing here in the first place? You get a lot more space for your money in glamorous, exciting Foxborough, Mass., no?
Ethan Hawke
No one is fooled, so please stop with the “But I’m Really a Shakespearean” thing. You should be playing the dad on a CBS sitcom by now.
Donald Trump
Bad television shows and ill-advised hair implants work better on the left coast.
Also we’re running out of room for ugly buildings. Plenty of space out there, though.