Judge Judy, after issuing more judgments than King Solomon, is at it again. Her fifth book, just out, is “What Would Judy Say? A Grown-Up Guide To Living Together With Benefits.” One of the benefits is it’s only $12.95. A paperback.
In her genteel way Judy Sheindlin, No. 1 on daytime TV for the past 16 years, discusses life with Him before marriage: “When I was young, you either left your parents house in a white dress or a pine box.” But, since, along with rent, vows and views have changed, she says: “Men are warriors, and warriors don’t clean up after themselves.”
As for blind love, it’s “Please, frogs don’t become princes . . . so no joint living together before the ring.”
In other words, thou shalt shove it.
Married forever to Judge Jerry Sheindlin, former Justice of New York’s Supreme Court, she has five children, 12 grandchildren and her book’s delicious, funny and down-to-real-earth.
Like her rule about partners being protected before entering live-in unwed relationships because “There is no Court of People Just Living Together.”
“What Would Judy Say? A Grown-Up Guide To Living Together With Benefits” is available only on Amazon.com.
HIGH-CLASS decorator Michael Smith tarts up huts like the White House so he needs a meal about as much as Anthony Bourdain so Architectural Digest’s Margaret Russell gave him one. So, why? For yesterday’s Christie sale of trinkets immortalized in his new book “Building Beauty: The Alchemy of Design.” Speaking of design, Coach boss Reed Krakoff, a guest, announced the very next day he was quitting Coach.
ADWEEK quotes Bloomberg’s quote: “Anything you send out will be retweeted, reFacebooked, re-this, re-that. Write down, No. 1, only things you believe and, No. 2, then think about how it would look if somebody else sees it.”
Right. The thing is, to do all he’s talking about, we won’t have time left to make a living.
WORD is Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth tried to donate blood, and the Red Cross turned them down. They found two olives, a pearl onion and a tiny umbrella in their samples.
CITY Hall candidate Joe Lhota: “I used to run the MTA. I ran the tunnels. I know this city cannot run without the MTA. I also know we need solid Republicans — not those Democrats. I remember the peep shows of 42nd Street days. I grew up here. I don’t want to see it go back. We can’t. We must go forward. We need education. Need jobs. Need to raise money. Need to diversify economy.”
JULIAN Fellowes on Baz Luhrmann’s new Gatsby movie: “The American way is to be rich. It’s what helped America become a world power. I’m a fan of Edith Wharton, who always dealt with enormous fortunes like those established by Rockefeller, Astor, Vanderbilt. Money out of railways and shipping.
“America, creating the way to wealth, is what was wonderful about the Gatsby age. That era’s when their wealthy women came over to us and married English earls — just like the story I created in ‘Downton Abbey.’ ”
RUPERT Everett: “If I were a woman, I’d be Naomi Campbell. I’d love to have her great body.” Not exactly hunting a sex change, he adds: “Only time I’d like to be a woman is at the end of my life. Men have a crisis around age 65. The ones I know never get over it. As soon as they can’t have a sex life and their job goes, they fall to pieces and can’t pull it back together.”
MORE about the Brits. Anyone know Liz Hurley has sandpapered her behind? Mornings after her shower? Beauticians say that’s bad for your skin and recommend things like exfoliation creams containing aloe vera or sweet almond.
She’s also been known to schlep around an oxygen inhaler flask so’s to breathe the purest air possible “to keep her pores from clogging.”
OK by me, but it didn’t help marriage to that Indian textile heir Arun Nayar, who, after four years, she clogged right into a divorce court.
DOG mommies Lauren Bacall, Caroline Kennedy, Carolina Herrera, take note: Come August, the upper crust’s pampered-est pets and pampered-est human parents get vet-less. After 50 years, your Dr. Lewis Berman unloaded his East Side Animal Hospital — 64th between Park and Mad, across from the Plaza Athenee. The practice, with him continuing part-time, was sold. The corporation’s new management will relocate in a 72nd and Second building now under construction.
MAY 1 EPIX is running “Journey to Planet X.” It’s scientists turning out sci-fi inspired tales of their own creation . . . May 9 Alabama’s Huntsville Museum of Art is lunching, honoring and listening to Ali MacGraw. Remember “Love Story”?
A gentleman watching TV news about the Boston Marathon in a hotel meeting room: “In the way of the Taliban, the punishment for innocence is death.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.