Rebel Wilson. Funny. Pretty. Hefty. Aussie. Stand-up comic. This hot shot in the film “Bridesmaids” stars in ABC-TV’s coming Wednesday series “Super Fun Night.”
I adored Rebel although my table tilted as, centimeter by centimeter, she — who makes Melissa McCarthy look anorexic — wedged into our tight banquette space. Minus any opening for me to question or request clarification, it was nonstop:
“I was in South Africa, law school, when I developed malaria. It affected my brain. Hallucinating from drugs, I thought I’d won an Oscar. At the hospital, recovering, I said I’d be an actress because I’d acted in spare time in Sydney.”
South Africa? Why not school in Sydney? What spare time since she was only a kid?
Barreling on, Rebel shouted over the din in some cockamamie noisy Bowery bar somebody found for us:
“People thought I’d be good in America and sent me on Hollywood auditions, and then I got ‘Bridesmaids.’ ”
How she got from Sydney to Johannesburg to LA can maybe be learned — or at least heard — in some other bar.
“ ‘Super Fun Night’ is a single-camera half-hour show. Starts September. I’m the creator. I’m the producer. I’m the writer. I’m the star. An anti-‘Sex and the City’ thing — no fashion sense, nobody gets laid, it’s three girls living in Manhattan.
“I put in real stories, like about my family. And I’m now doing movies. And I signed a big ABC deal. I work hard, and I’m totally single.
“When I learned about acting, Nicole Kidman gave me a scholarship. Not that much money. But I came here, saw Broadway shows and got a West 46th Street apartment.
“I have a personal trainer, I get physicals, I want to be super-healthy and piss-perfect, but I like eating ice cream. I now have a stylist because I don’t know fashion.”
After dropping her ring on the floor: “I’m working for ABC which Disney owns and did you know my great aunt Lillian Bounds married Walt Disney?”
Someone located her ring and, before I could ask about her Disney aunt, Rebel propelled herself — inch by inch, pound by pound out of our booth with: “I could eat my weight in macaroons. I have to eat something. I’m wasting away.”
GEORGE Fielding, Chris Christie’s lapband surgeon, getting many patients. Not because New Jersey’s governor is newly skinnier than Calista Flockhart, but because he’s thumping a TV commercial . . . Jon Voight, aka Angelina Jolie’s father: “I always remind myself of greatness. My living room has pictures of Kennedy, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Helen Keller. I care for people who take life and make a wonderful portrait of it.”
MEGAN Mullaly on her new movie “The Kings of Summer”:
“It’s about teenage boys coming of age. Parents driving them to distraction. They run away from home. Build a place in the woods. I play an overbearing and annoying mother who runs the kid out of the house. The publicist describes my role as ‘young and pretty.’ Clearly, you understand, she’s a great publicist.
“I’ve played a mother before. I like character parts. I like changing myself. Maybe because I didn’t always like myself in real life. Always thought I had too high a voice.
“Rehearsing for this movie, we did improv. Comedically, in one front yard scene where I’m micro-managing, I’m so annoying that my son breaks out in hives.
“My husband, actor Nick Offerman’s in ‘Parks & Recreation’ with Amy Poehler. We’re together 13 years. If we had a child, I doubt I’d be overprotective. My own mother’s supportive. But maybe a little overprotecting. Actually, if my husband goes to the store, I say: ‘Drive carefully,’ so I do overprotect him and our three small rescue poodles.”
Her “Will & Grace” TV role brought seven consecutive nominations. So where are the Emmys?
“In a closet. I’m no ingrate. I’m just embarrassed. I take them out and look at them but they’re in a closet with my drawings and books from when I was a kid.”
And what’s she do when not working or in her closet?
“Haven’t even time to go to the movies. Even our own. I draw. Do interior design. Do boring things. Read, spend time with my husband and my dogs.”
ANJELICA Huston and Mickey Rourke feeding at West Hollywood’s Il Picolini. Not a twosome. Not together. Linguinis apart . . . Spike Lee at B’way’s “Motown.” At the Knicks, he’s ringside. At the show, several rows back . . . Versailles’ fund-raiser wants it known they’ve befriended us since the 18th century. That King Louis XVI sent troops from Versailles to help America win Independence, that Benjamin Franklin received Gen. Lafayette long before Ben landed on our $100 bill.
AUDIENCE at a Broadway performance. Comes a whisper: “Everybody here’s a senior citizen.” The reply whisper: “No. They’re just people who haven’t had work done.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.