THE City That Never Sleeps now lists specialists to do for you if, in fact, you might like to sleep. Nifty, slim, good-looking, unmarried Lauren Goldman runs Gold Star, a private concierge lifestyle management service. Says Lauren:
“Say it’s your cousin’s birthday. You know she likes shoes. I know Manolo’s having a sale. Say for instance you’re busy, on your way to an important meeting for which you can’t be late, and you left your wife with a fridge that’s on the fritz. I’ll have it fixed. How about en route to Berlin and need massage appointments upon arrival?
“I create a gateway if you’re overwhelmed. No request goes undone. A husband with a wife and kids, if he sleeps an extra hour he feels guilty and he’s afraid – especially if he’s on his third marriage – he might blow their special evening? I see they have it. Need a reservation for Rao’s? Super Bowl tickets for an important client? I’ll get it. Some lady had a party and wanted a psychic only from Florida. I found the person.
“This couple honeymooned in the Maldives. For their second anniversary the husband needed a special present. I flew in a bottle of sand from the actual resort they’d honeymooned in. It came, for authenticity, with a card, pens and matches from the hotel. See, I’ve created global contacts. I deal with concierges all over the world.
“Guys don’t know about dating. They know to text, e-mail but not what to say. They know nothing outside work. Never had time to learn. So, I do it for them. I stock kitchens before families with three kids and no time to do anything return from vacation. An eighth birthday was to be a carnival with rides? I had a pony delivered to Connecticut.
“I employ stylists, makeup artists. I handle dating service ideas, proposal ideas. I get wing women. A wing woman is just to take out, be with, have her on your arm so it looks good and people will think, ‘Wow, he must be better than we thought . . . look at the good-looking gal with him.’ These girls do nothing. Just balance the crowd and act as a presence. They are not paid. They eat well, meet new people, network and they like to go out anyway instead of just staying home.”
Yeah, OK, good. So how’s all this work?
Said Lauren: “I charge on an event-by-event basis. But if we work together ongoing, I start with an hourly $75 fee for two months to see what your future needs might be. Then it’s a monthly retainer, so much for 10 to 14 hours of my being a glorified personal assistant, another price for 15 to 20 or 20 to 25 hours. They get to see how much they use me.
“Like December is crazy. Personal shopping. One executive wanted three gifts, $5,000 each, and, for women in their 40s, two for $2,000.
“I’m also starting a senior citizens division. The wheelchair-bound need someone to sit, read, talk to them. They need a manicure, pedicure, a chef to come prepare an elegant dinner. They have money, they know good living, they’re still alive and, despite the Golden Years, want to live a little.
“Some requests you can’t believe. This 95-year-old woman with a New York penthouse and a love for wine wanted, just for three hours, to book a gorgeous guy to sit on her couch in his underwear. No sex. Just sip wine and sit. Her last wish before she passed away.”
You can get Lauren Goldman at gsnyc.com. Do not call me. I am not into guys sitting in their underwear on your couch, I don’t care what kind of wine you’ve got.
AT Paris’ Dior showing, anti-fur protest ers attacked fur-wearers, shoving dead animals’ pictures in their faces. Lots of screams. Lots of fear. No cops . . . Just FYI: The best-seller book “The Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell is terrific. I read it in one sitting . . . Kristen Davis at the Brentwood Mart food court. The guy along, playing all the while with his Game Boy computer, looked like a surfer dude . . . So what becomes a legend artist most? Says Jeff Koons: “I started in The York Dispatch, a local newspaper which had little drawings inside, and if you extended one and completed it you could win a prize.” . . . Now, for a stimulus package, how about Washington gives some cash to every new car buyer instead of handing gazillions to those dopes who crashed GM?
ACADEMY Award host Hugh Jackman on when he played flamboyantly gay Peter Allen on B’way: “I was a big hit with a lady from New Jersey. Midshow she suddenly hollers out, ‘I want to bite your ass.’ Calling their bluff usually silences them so I asked for a light to be put on this woman who ran right to the edge of the stage. I hung my butt out over the orchestra, and she bit away.”
SO it’s Purim, the Jewish equivalent of Halloween. In Tel Aviv a bunch of kids dressed up for the parades and parties. And what costume did one 15-year-old’s mom spend a week constructing?
Santa Claus.
Only in Israel, kids, only in Israel.