The Ralph Fiennes, Jeff Goldblum, Willem Dafoe, Bill Murray, Adrien Brody, Harvey Keitel, F. Murray Abraham, Bob Balaban movie “The Grand Budapest Hotel” opens Friday. Cub scouts number less than males.
Dafoe: “We filmed on the eastern German-Polish border. I play the spoiler. The killer who does the job. I shouldn’t reveal this but they turn the tables on me and I die in the end.” Nice haircut. Suede jacket. Big smile. Looked good for a dead guy.
Goldblum: “Everyone at the crossroads. My role’s family lawyer Kovacs. Suspecting foul play, I say, ‘This matter should be turned over to me.’ Adrien Brody’s character says, ‘Wait for this to be turned about.’ I say, ‘No.’ It’s a political movie. Political heroism.” Wearing a red overcoat, he was also chewing gum which he spit into my Kleenex. How’s that for political heroism.
Murray: “What do I do? Play golf — but not in the movie.” Never removing his feathered porkpie hat, he then worked a cellphone. Geronimo was friendlier.
Fiennes: “I’m the concierge. Lots of scenes running the hotel. My part took 10 weeks. I’m wearing these lapel keys, which few ever wear because it’s a concierge insignia.” He also featured a huge fluffy beard. “Took months to grow.” Is it attractive to women? “Depends on the woman.”
Abraham: “This movie’s the absolutely first and only film I ever wanted to see again instantly. I love it. I play the most important part. I own the hotel.” Why’s he flashing that prized concierge pin? “Because it’s how my character started before owning the hotel.” He then opened my coat to appraise my bones.
Keitel: “I was never a concierge. In my real life, I was a Marine.” He kissed me on the lips, then: “Mine’s just a cameo. A visit to the set. One week.” He kissed me again. Who cares what he played.
Brody: “I’m the heightened comic villain. Ruthless, powerful, potentially taking the assets of a family fortune.” He said more but I paid no attention. I craved this villain’s suit. Scarlet red shiny silk custom-made handstitched. Skinny pants. Double-breasted jacket. I wanted it. He said, “No. Dolce and Gabbana made it for me. And I’m keeping it.”
Balaban: Having found a TV camera he was giving an Oscar performance.
Israeli tales
Bibi Netanyahu, in Dan Raviv’s new book “Spies Against Armageddon,” reports Obama believes “time is running out” for Israel, is squeezing him into quick Palestinian concessions, trusts Iran, and, writes CBS’ Raviv, was unthrilled with revelations of pressuring the Mossad to stop assassinating Iranian nuclear scientists.
Bibi, during his recent White House chat, maintained a polite smile.
Deep dish for Redford?
Robert Redford’s doing more than his excellent movie “All Is Lost.” Tonight debuts Redford’s Sundance Productions’ eight-part non-fiction series “Chicagoland.” It deals with Chicagoans like maestro Riccardo Muti, rapper Common, Isaiah Thomas, former nice mayor Richard Daley, current nice mayor Rahm Emanuel, even Michelle speaking about Michelle. CNN 10 p.m.
Odds & ends
What most becomes a legend named Krysten Ritter, I know. A second pair of $110 Fresh Foam 980 blue-colored sneakers . . . Piers Morgan: “I actually came to do CNN’s really big Clinton, Oprah, Dalai Lama interviews. It’s what I’m good at.” . . . At B’way’s Kelli O’Hara musical, “Bridges of Madison County” author Robert James Waller admitted its ’92 novel still “gets me teary.” In real life he’s the real one about whom the story’s written.
From Will Whitlock: Compulsive horn blower in heavy First Ave. traffic. Pedestrian asks: “Can I have your autograph?” Horn blower: “Why?” Pedestrian: “The way you’re acting, I assume you must be a very important person.” Horn blower then shuts his mouth and horn.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.