Steve Carell and Sam Rockwell star in recently opened “The Way Way Back.” Talking to these two nearly set my career way way back.

Steve: “I’m proud of this funny, poignant, romantic comedy.”

Sam: “I play a rough tough s – – tty gangster into murder and porn.”

Steve: “This wonderful film is clean, sweet. Not many of those dirty words.”

Sam: “Please. In it my sons Michael, Sonny, Fredo have names like in ‘The Godfather.’ There’s a f – – king massacre. And a car crash. One’s killed. A great white shark’s dead on the beach. A horse’s head is in the bed.”

Steve: “Taking place over a summer, this coming of age story’s lovely and clean.”

Sam: “Right. Truth is, it’s nothing dirty. I’m just f – – king with you.”

Finally separating these wackos, I asked why Steve Carell’s facial hair and eyeglasses. He said:

“Glasses started a year ago. The moustache I did before. I can’t keep it up anymore. I gave up. I don’t care anymore. I don’t have to look good. I’m giving in on patience. I’m tapping into the real me.”

The “real me” now being a real movie star, does his wife still make him take out the garbage?

Steve: “She doesn’t make me. I do it because I want to. That’s the wonderful kind of guy I am. I haven’t changed. And watching ‘The Office’, I miss the people. It’s a little strange to know the mechanics and exactly what and how they’re doing.”

Sam: “I studied acting with Sanford Meisner. My first audition was for ’89’s ‘Dead Poet’s Society’ movie. A scared punk kid, I appeared very young — as opposed to how I am now.”

And how are you now?

“With ‘The Way Way Back’ out, I’m planning to reward myself. I’ll treat me to popcorn.”

Bill likes golf

While Hillary stays and Obama brays, William Jefferson Clinton plays. A full afternoon of golf at the Greenbrier in West Virginia. In, out, one whole day after a chartered plane airlifted Himself out of New York.

Pickens picks new gal

T. Boone Pickens. We are not talking slim pickens. He’s Texas’ rich rich oil and gas exec. After Madeleine Paulson, his last on a laundry list of wives, the man said, “Never again.” Well, he’s at it again. His newie’s Toni Brinker. Age 85, energy specialist Pickens must know something about energy.

Not a chance

Anthony Weiner? Quinn and Thompson, who lead the crowded field of Rockettes, will not knock the guy lest they need face him in a runoff. But despite the chorus of candidates who aren’t pleasing everyone, he’ll not be mayor. N-O-TTT! Even Weinie’s nervous that he’s peaked too early.

Upper West mess

A Riverside Drive townhouse is for sale — $50 mil — for months. Rubbish gets tossed next door to the home of Barbara Cook and the wife of Maurice Tempelsman, who dated Jackie O for years. Both are enraged. Vanity Fair and Emma Stone did recent shoots there. Forbidden to frequent any of its seven bathrooms, stars were made to use a Port-O-San alongside their apartment house. A happy neighborhood this isn’t.

Singer says yes

How do you get a star to take a picture with you? Answer: Know her agent. The Giants’ Steve Weatherford and Aaron Ross told Giant fan Jeff Allen, head of Universal Attractions, they love Ashanti. He got the R&B star to chat with and pose with the guys at a charity event. Santa couldn’t make these two galoots happier.

Writing in his freakily titled memoir, “Never Quote the Weather to a Sea Lion,” Big Apple Circus founder/ringmaster Paul Binder told his mama: “I’m so happy. I’m a Jewish kid who dresses up every night like a cowboy, and my wife’s a beautiful green-eyed Danish girl.” Shortly afterward, happy Paul divorced his wife.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.