Caroline Hirsch, who has employed hundreds of comics at Carolines on Broadway, may get some help writing her brilliant Christmas card every year — or she’s just a genius.
Here’s an edited version:
“May the holidays bring . . . A wrecking ball to hit Miley Cyrus . . . Rolling Stone magazine covers that don’t resemble FBI most wanted posters . . . Hope that ‘Rocky’ the musical doesn’t lead to ‘Rambo’ the musical . . . Aaron Hernandez changing positions from tight end to wide receiver . . . An order of heaven’s best onion rings for Tony Soprano . . . A case of beard lice for the ‘Duck Dynasty’ guys . . . Bruce Jenner getting half of Kris’ wardrobe in the divorce settlement . . . Russell Crowe earning a lifetime ban from performing musical theater . . . Lou Reed taking God for a walk on the wild side . . . A screening of ‘Daredevil’ for whoever cast Ben Affleck as the new Batman . . . A White Christmas for everyone, not just Nigella Lawson . . . And more of the most precious gift of all . . . laughter.”