While exchanging those cheap scarves from China, junky T-shirts from Pakistan and rancid perfume from Canal Street, be it known you could grab a chunk of art instead. Dealer Frank Laverdin’s 475 Park gallery has a nice little bronze bull for sale. Give or take a few bucks, it’s half a mil. And that’s no bull.
YEAR-end remarks: Demi Moore says Deepak Chopra’s taught her how to live longer. Not happier with her kids — just longer . . . Justin Bieber says he has few friends, “but, if I hadn’t made sacrifices, I wouldn’t be where I am now.” Bieber burble No. 2: “I won’t marry until I’m 25.” . . . Jude Law: “I’m happy I’m not that pretty young thing anymore.”
Taylor Swift says if she breaks up with her newest temporary “I’ll probably write about it.” . . . Pink says she’s terrified daughter Willow will go for wild loud music, wild loud tattoos and be just like me. I keep hoping she’ll change.” The kid is age 2 . . . Gerard Butler says he doesn’t lift weights. He looks great thanks to yoga.
And Keira Knightley: “No problem going in front of the cameras, but I’m afraid to speak in front of people. I don’t know what to say.”
And Psy, that Gangnam whatever, says: “People now start to use some Korean words. But that’s not enough for me. I want everybody’s attention.”
ISRAEL tourism is down. Way down . . . New Jersey Sen. Frank Lautenberg’s wife is Bonnie Englebardt. To prep for a role in indie movie “Blowtorch,” filming in Brooklyn with William Baldwin, Kathy Najimy, Armand Assante, her actress sister Lois Robbins is waitressing at Vinny’s of Carroll Gardens.
SHIRLEY Jones and comedian husband Marty Ingels booked a round-trip Hawaii cruise Jan. 16 for — despite strife and spats — their 35th anniversary. Onboard, a preacher will remarry them. Demi and Ashton should grab the same sail. Also Tory and Mr. Burch. Plus the Al Gores. Kim Kardashian and whatsisface. And in this season of peace on earth, good will to husbands, maybe also that unreal Housewife of Wherever and her latest mate of two years.
SO, “On the Road,” this new Kirsten Dunst/Kristen Stewart film based on Jack Kerouac’s book. Credits list producer Jerry Leider. But, says producer Jerry Leider, who gave David Geffen his first job and is in the Geffen documentary: “I’m not the producer.
“I never met one person or actor in it. Peter Cavaney, a civilian from a small Maine town, once came to me with: ‘I can option this providing I get a famous Hollywood producer.’ I said, ‘OK. I’m in.’ Frances Coppola also wanted it. His lawyer finally bought back my option for $7,500 — plus my producer’s credit. That’s 34 years ago. I never saw the f – – – er again.
“It got sold once more and, finally, made. I’m its patriarch, but all I got out of the thing was an invitation to see the finished film. At least they didn’t make me buy the tickets.”
A WORD about Jack Klugman. Between buying more of East Hampton, worrying about laughs for his “The Prisoner of Second Avenue” scene, and American Airlines bumping him because of his Cairn terrier, he once told me, “I’m a good father. I’ve given my children unconditional love. I’m not saying they don’t give that love back. I’m saying they give it to their children.”
And his complaint that, when on Broadway, “my dresser washed my soiled chinos with two OTB winning tickets in the pocket.”
COMES word that for some reason lingerie shops didn’t do well this Christmas. After years of supporting women, now they’re the ones whose sales are sagging.
PRINCE Dimitri of Yugoslavia, jewelry maker for those who can afford it — like Carolina Herrera’s aquamarine earrings — flashing his newest wooden cufflinks . . . In the ’80s, Richard Gere bought a Basquiat really cheap, then sold it for $250,000. It recently went for $12 mil . . . Vivica A. Fox: “My first film was running from zits on Melrose Boulevard for a Clearasil commercial. I was paid scale — $400.”
I BEGAN THIS column with exchanging gifts. It ends with replacing them. Like with Robert Simonson’s coffee-table book “Performance of the Century” which states actors weren’t always considered “respectable.” Even before Charlie Sheen, you “wouldn’t socialize with them or marry one.” Now, the profession’s so respectable that Katie Holmes is her play “Dead Accounts” Actors Equity deputy. She bakes goodies for cast and crew and checks their union needs.
READER Lavie Margolin, displaced from her Long Beach home because of the hurricane, is staying in Riverdale. “A normal-looking couple gets on this No. 1 train in Morningside Heights. After a few stops the guy, getting off first, tells the girl: ‘Don’t forget to shower so you’re not stinky.’ ”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.