Leave it to comedy club Carolines on Broadway to send out the season’s best holiday card, by far. On a list of things the legendary ha- ha hole says it’s hoping the holidays will bring are . . . “a James Bond gadget that silences British boy bands,” “the promise that Taylor Swift will never, ever, ever write another break-up song,” “Tebow time,” “Lance Armstrong’s new charity, ‘Dopestrong,’ ” “someone to see the irony in Honey Boo Boo being on the Learning Channel,” “a hurricane that only washes away the ‘Jersey Shore’ cast,” “something other than a blank stare from Kristen Stewart,” “a befitting CIA acronym for General Petraeus — Caught In the Act,” “Kevlar condoms for the Secret Service,” “a Keep-Your-Hands-to-Yourself Elmo,” “a seniors discount on Rolling Stones tickets,” and . . . “more of the most precious gift of all — laughter.” Amen.