An online pilot called “Rex” was posted today, and Showtime better buy it or I’m gonna kidnap someones dog as ransom (Paris, I’m talkin’ to you).

The show, created by Guy Shalem who created (and directed some episodes of) Lifetime’s “Lovespring International,” centers around Simon Rex and his search to get back in the limelight. The brilliance of the show lives within the co-stars of the cast, and get this, Paris Hilton (as his fake girlfriend) is the best actor of all. Most people would argue that she may just be playing herself, but her comedic timing and delivery makes me want to take back every sassy quip I ever said about her.

The cast list, including a gut-splitting Jamie Presley and Brian Huskey, sounds like some sort of underground Hollywood fight club. Also on board is “Alias'” Victor Garber and Jill Talley, playing Rex’s brilliant parents, and the streets of Los Angeles, which make up the sets the stories come to life on. This show is just another reason why reality TV is NOT the only option.

I think the moment I knew this thing wasn’t a gumball of bull crap was when Lance “Not Gay” Bass (I promise that will make sense when you watch) joined the bunch and I still wanted to watch. No offense, LB, but I was sure you would take me out of it and you didn’t — major props. When he and Simon share some strange Cyrano de Bergerac setup, I just about lost my Triscuits.

Give the full 23-minute pilot a watch after the jump, and then call Showtime and tell them to get on the ball!

UPDATE

The Pilot is being shifted around constantly with a username and password. You must add the show as a friend and then the info to view it is in the Discussion Board area of the shows Facebook site. Sneaky right!?