15 celebs to ban from the red carpet

When did the red carpet become a free-for-all?

What was once a hallowed stage for the towering and talented (or at least marginally interesting) has turned into a carnival of wannabes, has-beens and those whose sole purpose in life is seemingly to piss people off. Some call it show business, but if this is all Hollywood has to show, it’s time to re-evaluate.

So, from the posers to the poorly dressed, braggadocios to the strange Shia LaBeouf, we present the 15 celebrities who — at this moment in time — we simply do not wish to see on any red carpet.

Rita Ora

We know what you’re thinking (“But she’s so fashionable!”). Well, actually, she isn’t — she just wears a bunch of designer clothes. Actually, her outfits wear her, and most of the time, she looks like a clown. Ora has parlayed one (bad) album — 2 years old — into public ubiquity, with little to no success in conveying a new, original or even genuine sense of personal style.

Rihanna, Ora’s nearest comparison, is likewise a red carpet clotheshorse, but with seven albums under her belt, at least she has a reason to be there.

Paris Hilton

Just when you think you’re safe, that stringy peroxide hair and lazy eye pop right back into the frame.

Paris Hilton has no idea this isn’t 2003, and apparently not one of her 2.4 million Instagram followers has the heart to tell her, so she continues to show up on red carpets looking exactly like that tacky 22-year-old who rose to fame back when life was “Simple.”

There’s still no clear explanation for what she does (DJ? Dog walker?), but whatever it is, let us move on, Paris, even if you haven’t.

Paula Patton

Wikipedia says Paula Patton is an actress, but as far as the red carpet is concerned, she’s Robin Thicke’s ex who always shows up looking off the mark.

What exactly was that ruffled Golden Globes dress, other than completely ridiculous?

Zosia Mamet

She’s great as the hyperactive Shoshanna on “Girls,” so it’s mind-blowing how consistently dour Zosia Mamet looks on the red carpet — dead eyes, frown, slouching in ball gowns, the whole nine.

It doesn’t come off as endearingly awkward, but rather annoyingly smug, so hopefully Mamet can find something to smile about sometime, like — IDK — being rich and famous.

Lindsay Lohan

Sometime in 2006, LiLo set about becoming the epitome of “train wreck” as if it were performance art, and for years — years — we went along with it. However, after all the arrests, thefts, leggings and “Liz & Dick,” we lost hope.

The antics became more tedious than entertaining, and then we simply stopped caring. Lohan’s warped face and yellow, decayed teeth are strong metaphors for generational decadence, and who wants to stare that truth in the face?

Mischa Barton

Sad reminder of bygone youth No. 2: As Marissa Cooper on “The OC,” Mischa Barton had it all — modelesque beauty, a bit as the hot girl in an Enrique Iglesias video and, with all this in mind, the right to walk a red carpet.

That show ended in 2007, so we’re actually not sure how or why she’s still invited to things. Regardless, last year she had the nerve — pun intended — to blame her downfall on a botched wisdom tooth surgery. So much for bowing out gracefully.

Chrissy Teigen

John Legend’s wife’s quest for relevance seems so desperate, it’s painful. Note to Teigen: Arm candy is best when not live tweeting. You don’t have to prove you’re on the red carpet; we see you just fine.

Vanessa Hudgens

There’s something about Vanessa Hudgens that makes it impossible to take her seriously. Perhaps it’s the mediocrity of her career in the aftermath of Disney fame, and the contrast of that reality versus her muddled self-perception.

Whatever it is, when she shows up on the red carpet, it just seems like she’s crashing. No one minds because no one is paying attention.

Miley Cyrus

If we have to see that tongue and camel toe one more time . . .

Lea Michele

Lea Michele does little to dissuade the belief that she’s unlike her irritating, perfectionist character on “Glee.” Her red carpet poses are so exaggeratedly rehearsed, even sugar-sweet “Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland poked fun.

Naya Rivera

There are rumors this “Glee” actress is feuding with Lea Michele, but being “co-” to Michele’s “star” means she’s already lost. Unlike Lea, Naya isn’t trying to appear squeaky clean. In fact, given her conspicuous transformation into a Kim Kardashian-like drone, we’d say she’s due for a sex tape.

If Rivera expects to steal any inch of spotlight on the red carpet, she’d better do something. Until then, she can have a seat.

Alessandra Ambrosio

Models aren’t expected to enrich the world with their talents, but there’s only so much “sexy” a person can take, especially when the overall effect is cheesier than a cruise ship. Ambrosio’s overdone posing and inane, p.r.-flavored commentary (“I can’t sleep without my seamless hip hugger panties!”) make her a red-carpet eye roll, and make us yearn for the days when Gisele was the top Victoria’s Secret angel.

That’s saying a lot.

Anne Hathaway

“Hathahaters” point out that the actress comes off as fake. It’s true.

Gwyneth Paltrow

There was a time (the ’90s) when Gwyneth Paltrow was a lovely, reserved red-carpet dream girl. Then she opened her mouth, and with each glimpse into her overprivileged psyche, she became harder and harder to stomach, though she’s arguably as attractive as she was then.

Now we write letters about how essentially she should shut her mouth, and her comely visage has become one most cannot stand.

Shia LaBeouf

This speaks for itself.