Journalists should NOT start a career interviewing colorful Ed Asner, who prefers being called Edward. Like the old pro from TV’s old Mary Tyler Moore show says: “It’s Pesach [Passover]. I’m off to a Seder.” I reply: “You’re Jewish?” He answers? “What the f - - k did you think I was?”
Ask: “You rich?” It’s: “Jesus, no. In TV’s old days we got paid like schleppers.”
His lifestyle? “I live alone in Valley Village, a continuation of Studio City. Been there seven years. I live quietly, just pick my nose, and emit all those noises we make as we get older.”
Now shooting scenes at Bareli’s Restaurant in Secaucus, NJ, he’s acting in and co-producing “Amityville High.” “It’s about the actual killings, the trial and all that s - - t. I play a detective. Producing this movie sucker, I plan to slap it together and make millions.
“Meanwhile, food’s good. Tasty. We ate here last night. I’m still recovering.
“I started my career long ago in college. As an amateur. I remember doing a soliloquy. I also remember a women’s chorus where, between breaths, I started a relationship with a soprano.”
See any shows while he’s here? “No. In ’89 I was in Broadway’s ‘Born Yesterday’ revival with Madeline Kahn. I wasn’t received kindly. They didn’t like me.”
Ever watch his old reruns on TV? “No.”
So, go see his film when it comes out. If you see him in person — just nod. Or wave. Then leave him alone.
What a lovely ‘Lady”
Audra McDonald, great playing Billie Holiday in Circle in the Square’s “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill”: “My dad introduced me to her music. She scared me. Died early. Did drugs. I didn’t understand that. Now I realize her whole life was being treated badly.
“She suffered racism. Couldn’t enter her hotel’s front door. Forbidden in white people’s elevator. Bad behavior revoked her cabaret card and she went to prison. Fans have sent me tidbits, research, links, e-mails and her own book. I have her records. I’ve played them all for months. Now I admire her.”
Odds & ends
Fergal Burke, of O’Donoghue’s Times Square pub on W. 44th, to open an Irish bar on W. 26th. Problem is — begorra! — locals oppose the idea . . . SO what makes a Nanny canny? Fran Drescher’s answer is reflexology . . . CORAL Gables. Sushisamba. Chelsea Handler’s lunch included rounds of chu-cumber cocktails — cucumber water, plum wine, gin, maraschino liqueur. Nice with salad.
Plane nuts
An anchor, crazed with CNN’s aileron-to-aileron nonstop coverage of Malaysia’s missing aircraft: “Won’t matter because nobody’s watching us anymore — but next we’ll be flying paper airplanes through the studio.”
From Beatles to bombs
This 65th anniversary of 1949’s 45 RPM single brings Alan Aldridge’s “Beatles Illustrated Collective Set.” Every Day Lists A Beatles History Fact. If you’re not Beatle’d out, there’s five McCartney songs . . . VARIETY’S Power of Women lunch the 25th honors Idina Menzel (however she’s called this week), Claire Danes, Sarah Jessica, Susan Sarandon . . . MAY 22, Cannes, amfAR’s event has Sharon Stone, Travolta, Heidi Klum, Milla Jovovich, Robin Thicke, ex-President Sarkozy’s wife.
QUESTION: Why’s the world making cleaner bombs and dirtier movies?
SO this tourist does Chinatown. Nice dinner. Nice restaurant. Nice tab. His group has drinks, Peking duck, chicken with noodles, corn soup, fresh crab, tofu/vegetable casserole, beef whatever, moo goo whoknows. Then, the waiter brings a sliced orange. Host: “Where’s the fortune cookie?” Waiter: “No fortune cookie. We don’t do that.”
Must be only in New York, kids, only in New York.