Lady Gaga has revealed that at age 19, she felt cocaine was “sexy” and that “the drug was my friend.”
Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, appeared on the Demi Moore-produced series “The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet” last night, and discussed her dark period starting out as a musician in New York. Gaga says that drug use took her off the path for a good chunk of her early 20s.
“I was very depressed when I was 19 … I would go back to my apartment every day and I would just sit there. It was quiet and it was lonely. It was still. It was just my piano and myself. I had a television and I would leave it on all the time just to feel like somebody was hanging out with me,” she said. “And especially during the period when I was doing cocaine. It was like the drug was my friend. I never did it with other people. It’s such a terrible way to fill that void, because it just adds to that void, because it’s not real.”
Gaga, who is now 26, says that her drug phase continued for a long time.
“At a certain point, I just began to feel sick,” says Gaga, who in the interview wears a black lace dress and veil. “I remember one night being in the shower. I was bent over and had the cold water on, coming down. I’d just done so much [cocaine], I didn’t even feel good. I felt like crap. I had a thing of Nyquil, and I was drinking it.”
She says that soon after this low point, she was able to kick the habit completely.
She remembers, “I sort of [bleeping] woke up one day and was like, ‘You’re an asshole. You’re not an artist. If you were a real [bleeping] artist, you’d be focused on your music. You wouldn’t be spending your money on the white devil.'”
“There’s this perception and romanticism around drugs. That it’s sexy,” continues Gaga. “Or that it’s artistic or that you’re troubled and you’re going to make great music when really, you’re just a [bleeping] loser. I just stopped and focused 150 percent of my energy on my happiness. On ‘what do you want to do? What is it that you really want?’ … You have to know it and knife fight your way to your dream.”