Beyoncé in Park Slope, Brooklyn. In the Fifth Avenue park. Singing “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round” to Blue Ivy, who was in a baby bucket swing. Surrounding bodyguards warned, “No pictures.” When someone did snap a shot, a bodyguard had the person delete it from their camera.
A lawyer, swinging his child nearby, announced no one can legally stop anyone from taking photographs nor force them to be deleted. He then took a photo of his kid that “accidentally” included Baby Blue.
Only in Park Slope, kids, only in Park Slope.
Funnyman on writing for awards shows
Top comedy writer Bruce Vilanch writes the Oscars. Writes comedy stuff for all the big names and shows. Only his stomach exceeds his one-liner talent. I mean we are not talking Bradley Cooper here. Working this Thursday and Friday at 54 Below, he says:
“Who knows where funny lines started? Probably in prison because at least cons have time on their hands.
“I wanted to do two cabaret nights to try it out. See how it goes. No New Yorkers probably even go to 54 Below because they’d have to push through the tourists. I’ll do backstage stories. Maybe even sing because they’re probably expecting Patti LuPone.
“Comedy’s a point of view. All those ‘Hollywood Squares’ years sitting next to Whoopi, I said I’m a black woman and she’s really a Jewish kid.
“I was determined to get a fart joke on the Academy Awards show, which is so pompous. Finally, after one nominated song, ‘Colors of the Wind,’ I got it in. The line got a huge laugh.
“I do lots of corporate gigs because with those you don’t have to sell tickets or do press. It’s easy. Just find out who’s the CEO and make fun of him. Or tell Jewish stories. I know lots of those because I’ve been Jewish a long time.”
And how does he handle hecklers?
“Easy. I just tell them to shut up or get the hell out. People who book me know what they’re getting. I’m not working fashion houses.”
Wet, wild for NY
Last night was Bloomberg’s Made in New York Awards. Spike Lee, the Weinsteins, whom nobody’s honored in over a week, Alan Cumming, Heidi Klum, Audra McDonald, Sheila Nevins, Tumblr plus Lifetime Achievement to Barbara Walters. Ladies hitting Gracie Mansion’s rain-soaked, tented lawn were recommended to wear wedgies since the ground would be wetter than Amanda Bynes.
Celebs’ stories for all to read
Oldie stars are doing newie autobios. Melissa Joan Hart (“Sabrina, the Teenage Witch”) knocked off “Melissa Explains It All” for St. Martin’s. First commercial at age 4 paid family bills. Next, rebellious teen years. Friends were Soleil Moon Frye. Castmates were Ryan Reynolds and Calista Flockhart. Now she stars in “Melissa & Joey.” Also, Corey Feldman’s survival/redemption saga “Coreyography.” Family, dysfunctional. Pals Michael Jackson and Corey Haim, gone. He dated Drew Barrymore. He did drugs, endured physical and sexual abuse, rehab, assorted dark things and addictions. What’s left? A memoir.
Stargazing
Meg Ryan strolling the Meatpacking District . . . Gandolfini yelling out his car window downtown on the Greenwich and Beach corner . . . Mayoral wannabe John Catsimatidis, after a day at the Puerto Rican Parade, knocking off Asian dumplings at Le Colonial on East 57th . . . New Jersey unreal Housewives stuffing in non-Italian foods at Bond 45 . . . And author Bruce Littlefield: “Father’s Day is big with pro ball players — most of whom never bothered to marry the child’s mother.”
Phi Lambda Delta’s reunion is today at Redeye Grill. Besides dentists, lawyers, felons and Murder Incorporated descendants, college frat brothers from about the same time include New Line Cinema boss Michael Lynne, “The Book of Mormon” co-producer Roy Furman, TV director Joel Zwick and dermatologist Dr. Fred Fenig.
Only from Brooklyn, kids, only from Brooklyn.