We speak today of Gen. faster-than-a-speeding-bullet Petraeus, whose gold stars and heroic sword we now know have seen heroic battle everywhere.
Amazing. And all the time we thought this Army general had a gun in his pocket.
Friday night big-time big businessman Henry Kravis planned a dinner party here in New York. It was to honor America’s battle-scarred commander, the Big Petraeus.
The day before, suddenly, the Kravises phoned invitees to say, forget it. Called off. Don’t come. Order takeout. Eat a peanut butter sandwich. Party canceled. No explanation given. Guests were not told why. Nobody understood. Nobody seemed to know anything.
In fact, that very same day mutual friends were taking the general’s wife to lunch so not only was everything very hush hush but, maybe, since a missus is always the last to know — maybe the missus didn’t even know.
MUCH B.S. about Lindsay Lohan canceling a scheduled TV interview. I have long monitored said mishmash. Here’s the back story:
Lindsay was set to publicise this Elizabeth Taylor bio, her first decent role since Noah booked the Ark. She’d OK’d shooting “20/20” last week for airing Friday, Nov. 16, in advance of Lifetime’s “Liz and Dick” movie.
Last spring Barbara Walters, who likes Lindsay and appreciates her vulnerability, visited the set in LA. On time and in full makeup, the star OK’d this sit-down interview. Meeting Lindsay’s publicist, who has since quit, Barbara’s idea was to concentrate on common areas Lindsay and Elizabeth shared — child star, glamour, menfolks, pushy mom, absent dad. The deal was cemented eight months ago.
That publicist quit. The new publicist arrived. The promise got broken. Much dished-out dish has since been dished out but the original chickening-out reason was: “She’s not up to it.” Who exactly said it and to whom it exactly was said, I’ll let her people figure out — and blame. Just let nobody say I’m daft, dim or dumb and don’t know from nothing. I know precisely from something.
The word heard at the time — and let nobody tell me I don’t know what I’m saying — was: “She’s not up to it.”
SOTHEBY’S auctions two vitrines of gems in December. Socialite Jayne, Mrs. Charles Wrightsman’s diamond earrings and diamond brooches, alongside those of the late Mrs. Leonard Lauder, whose jewels, estimated at $13 million, include a giant solitaire Evelyn never wore once . . . Everyone: See Radio City Music Hall’s “Christmas Spectacular.” It’s their 85th anniversary and runs until Dec. 30.
BRADLEY Cooper, once voted the Sexiest Man Alive, also claims he’s the Most Modest Dude alive. In a bar, he managed to get surrounded. Females flocked. Flitted. Flirted. He: “Ohhh, please, I’m not really a player”. . . then . . . “Ohhh, please, I really don’t think of myself as that good-looking”. . . then . . . “Ohhh, please, some days I guess I just look good — like tonight.” And he laughed.
I mean, who does he think he is — Petraeus?
A NEW whatever oozing out is Kyle Richards’ book “Life Is Not a Reality Show: Keeping It Real With the Housewife Who Does It All.” Taken with an Ambien, it’s merde on how to be fabulous, her fave beauty products, the power of false eyelashes, and “wisdom” re: relationships, style, glam squads, flashy cars, heavy-duty drama and how she keeps her “hot” husband Mauricio Umansky. Exactly where she housewifes, not sure. Beverly Hills, I think. I also don’t care.
All yours for $14.99.
MILEY Cyrus making concessions regarding fiancé Liam Hemsworth. Calling their relationship “important to me,” and, “Now I’m engaged I’m not feeling jealous about Liam.” Also says she’s nixing offered roles that are too sexy, too revealing and put her in romantic situations. OK. Great. But what . . . where . . . are all these nudie lewdie parts she’s being offered?
ASHTON Kutcher: “Number of lines in your forehead tells how many lives you’ve lived.” He believes he’s been reincarnated so often that he’s “existed for 5,782 years.” Aha! So that was the trouble with Demi Moore. He was too old for her . . . Listen, let this new Sherlock Holmes incarnation know, “Elementary, my dear Watson” was never said. Closest was in “The Adventure of the Crooked Man.” Watson said, “Excellent,” and Holmes replied, “Elementary.” Just letting you know.
I JUST arrived from Boston’s Logan Airport, where Romney’s chorus line of private jets arrived for election night. Some New York flights gassed up in other cities . . . Studio 54’s “The Mystery of Edwin Drood” has intrigue, vote fixing, character assassination, race, corruption and killing. Like last Tuesday’s election . . . Catering director Scott Button already prepping DC’s Madison Hotel ballroom, menu, and party favors for Jan. 20’s inaugural party.
SO this VIP society lady, whose Long Island mansion was without power, made it to a nearby Starbucks parking lot. There she sat, having made contact with the Internet, doing her e-mails.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.