You don’t know this, because few know this because it’s secret because nobody wants anybody to know this because who knows why? A pack of wide open tonsils like Frank Rich, Arianna Huffington, Rachel Maddow were imported to the White House for a hear all, tell all, blab all q.t. meeting. It’s been by deliberation unreported. And the raison d’etre? So America’s Talker-in-Chief can brainpick, monitor their views, borrow ideas, pin the tail on the conservatives and get re-elected.
ANOTHER thing you may not know, which I know and now you know, is that the future coming new Newsweek debuting like maybe April will be less newsy politically Newsweeky. Backed by Barry Diller, fronted by Tina Brown, whose style was more showbizzy, insider-y, celebrityish Talk Magazine-y, it’ll be more Vanity Fair style. Less Karzai on the cover and more Angelina.
SAUDI Arabia’s Prince Fahd bin Ab dullah al Saud — about whom I know masses of you have tweeted all day — is among us. At the Chelsea Room, nary one single peasant or commoner was allowed near His Importantness. Came the need to go potty, Saudi security and handlers and thugs set up a no-pee zone. They cleared the can and designated a special royal stall for him all night long. And considering he opened with $2,000 worth of Dom Perignon, he probably had to go all night long. The privilege of this presence is because his father the king is here recovering from back surgery. Rich, mighty, accomplished, where do they go if there’s a problem? New York.
GOOD dancer Al Sharpton, so publicity shy, might forsake even another story about him to be on “Dancing With the Stars” . . . Blythe Danner shopping at Barneys . . . After her Carnegie Hall performance, more than 100 diners gave Renée Fleming a standing ovation. Listen, no 100 eaters would leave their Trattoria Dell’Arte pasta for Janet Napolitano . . . Can you believe it? In April, Shirley Temple turns 83.
ORSAY restaurant co-owner Hassan El Garrahy, former Cipriani Fifth Ave nue host, opens Bar Italia on Madison Avenue next month. Was to open this week . . . but . . . didn’t . . . Roseanne Barr on career opportunities: “I’m always asked to talk to people. I think it could be maybe easy. Would have to be perfect, but it takes a long time to get a good team together.” . . . So this therapist said this couple should enjoy sex every night. Complained the husband: “Now we’ll never see each other.
EVERYONE’s talking Golden Globes, I’m talking the old pro who gave ev eryone golden gloves — Larry King.
“I don’t wish my successor wrong,” said Larry. “I’ve never seen Piers Morgan except as a judge. He’s got his own shtick. He might work in today’s broadcast media.
“Except for my work schedule, nothing’s changed for me. Up early, breakfast for my boys, and still take them to school, public school, a half-hour apart. After that it’s my usual morning routine. Breakfast in the same deli, same table, same food, same pals I’ve eaten with for a lifetime. You know that. You’ve been with us.
“Then it’s deals and phone calls. Meeting with my agent. Four CNN specials are due, plus I write a syndicated King Features column. And make big-paying speeches. I tour. I do 1,200-seat theaters. But I don’t do celebrity stuff. What I’m thinking of, and it’s being organized now, is a one-man show on Broadway. People already want it. And I’m involved with the Brooklyn Water Bagel Company. That’s a New York guy who started the Subway franchise. The show opens in LA early February.”
SARAH Jessica: “I loved Morocco’s souk but not knowing how to bargain, I stuck to leather ottomans, shawls, rugs, traditional turn-up slippers, silver and mosque-shaped clocks. With three children, no problem schlepping. I just shoved everything in extra suitcases. I want to come back with my husband.”
WILLIAM Shatner Twitter titter TV series, christened “$#*! My Dad Says,” attracts puny ratings. Still, Ashton Kutcher will produce two more network shows about this same insanity inanity . . . Another dumb thing electrifying civilization is some cleansing purifier where chubbies like Demi Moore and David Beckham advocate condiments laced with syrup and lemon. And this Blood Group diet’s all you eat for two weeks. OK?
IN glory days, Zsa Zsa Gabor starred in six-week runs in Vegas. We spent months together at a time. Her co-star was my husband, comedian Joey Adams. What do I remember about this gorgeous blonde whose hair was a cloud? Everything. She’d come onstage holding a rose given by the headwaiter with whom she was having a fling, sniff the annoying rose, twirl it and the thing ruined Joey’s punch lines. One night she was roseless. They’d broken up. Said Zsa: “Darlink, I don’t mind an affair viss him but now he vants to be seen viss me in public. A headwaiter? Please!”
TALKING pure food, health, nutrition, garden herbs plus her husband’s con stipation, Suzanne Somers asked for a fitness lunch place. Joan Hamburg said, “Do Katz’s Deli for pastrami and hot dogs.” And that’s where they went.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.