Shanghai — Progress note. No progress.
Five days in same beige cashmere sweater, beige cashmere scarf, beige cashmere pants. I left Newark Airport on United Airlines Monday. Bound for Shanghai. I arrived. The plane arrived. The full complement of passengers returning to families for the holiday checking bags filled with gifts arrived.
What did NOT arrive for about 50 of us?
Luggage.
None. Zero.
After wrangling with United they now say we should buy clothes and they will reimburse us “within 45 days.” Figures the same amount of time it’ll take them to locate our suitcases, which are probably by now in some Jersey carjack chopshop bound for Uruguay.
Not my first suitcase caper with this airline. Previously I flew United to Chicago, but my bag had a better travel agent. It went to New Orleans, Cleveland and downtown San Diego. Five days later, my true love said to me: “Forget 12 maids a-leaping and a partridge in a pear tree — go get fresh clothes.”
My friend Evangeline Gouletas Carey, divorced wife of New York’s one-time Gov. Hugh Carey, lived there. She outfitted me.
Meantime, here in China, locals speaking Mandarin get offered no explanation from airline reps at Pudong Airport who mutter, “Maybe it was security issue.” Now let them hear me: “B.S.!”
They also add: “We are hearing they did not load an entire luggage container onto the aircraft.” So why do they now still mumble it’ll take another five days to straighten this out?! Not like I flew cheapo freebie discount coach. My New York assistant called the VIP concierge service who personally escorted me to the aircraft and listed me as “priority.” The majority who flew not priority? Their bags arrived.
One thing about United. It is NOT United.
Hours upon hours we’ve called United. Hanging on a phone 20 minutes before anyone answered. Eventually came a voice in India which said: “Please, I have no idea of the problem.” Then added: “Do Internet. Click onto ‘Where is my luggage dot com.’ ”
I landed in Shanghai stowing bags filled with toys and gifts “promised by Santa” for the family we were visiting. It was tears and disappointment Dec. 24 and Dec. 25 when those stockings were hung by the chimney with nothing in them.
Meanwhile, for those with wardrobes, Shanghai New Year’s Eve plans continue. Pork at year’s end is taken seriously. Twelve courses include seven which feature pig meat. Also round green dumplings made from flour, glutinous rice powder and veggies. A hot place here is Moganshan Village’s bicycle-themed bar Share. It serves Western food.
A New Year’s Eve concert will be at whatever’s called Jingqiao Life Hub. It promises bigtime names. They’re advertising Zhang Kefan and Liang Yi Zhen. OK?
Residents say Christmas week is gaining traction. Main drag Xiang Yang Road, until recently the fake market selling only knockoffs, has recently turned into the real deal with huge stores like Gap, Nike, Cartier, Lenscrafters, Zara, H&M. These hang holiday glitz out front.
Elsewhere, Shanghainese claim you can see elf hats and hear Yuletide music. Visiting Sun Yat Sen’s former house; seeing Fuzhou Lu, the city’s book street stretching from People’s Square to the historic waterfront promenade, The Bund; or joining the masses slurping handpulled noodles in the window of the omnipresent street noodle shops, I didn’t see any. The elf hats must be in United’s luggage container.
A friend’s nanny, ticked, is hoping for a raise in 2014 because little Western children are getting modeling jobs. This city manufactures catalogs for the world over. Two tykes, one 2, the other 4, both pose for L.L. Bean layouts. The littlest baby has his own agent and earns $400 an hour. The cranky nanny says this kid makes more in one hour than she does in a week.
Great. I’m looking to hit that 2-year-old up for enough yuan to spring for my fresh bra and underpants.
Only in Shanghai, kids, only in Shanghai.