The Eliot Spitzer book by former boss, former mentor, former best friend, former Albany consigliere Lloyd Constantine — due in Feb ruary — is now out in April. The master litigator-turned-apprentice author explains “Journal of the Plague Year: An Insider’s Chronicle of Eliot Spitzer’s Short and Tragic Reign” thusly:
“An intimate account of those 61 hours, from the March 9, 2008, moment I received Spitzer’s phone call revealing facts the entire world would learn the next morning until his March 12 news conference. Plus our tumultuous preceding 16 months and the month following.”
I remember Constantine telling me aggressive lawyer/hardball pol Spitzer would be our first Jewish president. That’s before he became hookerville’s Client 9, before his enemies’ Byzantine plots against him and before he went poop. How truthful is this book?
“Brutally honest. It’s about spectacular achievement and political ambition told with candor and the knowledge of personal history known only to me.”
Spitzer did not endorse this bruising tale of male rivalry between two highly intelligent, complex men and would probably prefer it didn’t exist. So . . . has he read it?
Silence for a moment, then: “I sent him a copy. I haven’t heard from him.”
And what do you think he’d say?
“Look, ours was a 30-year friendship. I can only say I’m not expecting to have Passover with him this year. If he chooses to say anything to me or wants to talk about any of the incidents, he can. He knows where to find me. It’s sort of how Art Garfunkel once sent a message to Paul Simon. He said: ‘S – – -, if you’re upset with me, call me and tell me.’ ” Silence again, then: “At this point, I’m really not ready to talk about it publicly.
“I realize everyone will say that as a man who values loyalty and knew what he was doing and yet still did it, it’s probably simplistic of me to think the way I’m thinking. I guess I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.”
A couple more months, and he’ll have to.
CHRISTINE Lahti. Let it be known she wears black net stockings with seams down the back. I saw her, and those seams are straight. Perfect . . . I’ve reported extensively on playboy Alexis Mersentes, newest husband of lonely widow Veronica Atkins, 70ish, who was left $400 million — give or take a diet supplement. Her money managers have battled Mersentes, other women have crept out of the woodwork, so much that Vanity Fair has dispatched writer Michael Shnayerson to Palm Beach to upchuck it all.
THE Golden Globes. Neither riveting nor boring. But, please, someone tell actors accustomed to mouthing only what others write: Try any word, any, apart from “incredible” or “amazing.” As in, “my incredible cast” “the amazing experience.” Surely Noah had other words up his sleeve — or up his dictionary. Or ask multi-linguals like Oliver Stone who speaks French fluently, L. DiCaprio and Sandra Bullock who know German, Charlize Theron who’ll even coach you in Afrikaans, Natalie Portman who can converse in Japanese, Viggo Mortensen who’s A-1 in Spanish. If you’re really stuck, Condoleezza Rice can give you Russian lessons. And Penelope Cruz says: “I am able to work in four languages. The world is not small for me. I can go anywhere and speak anyplace.” So, dearest movie stars, go learn another word in any language.
One more thing. About moviedom’s dress code. Did you know that a crew jacket bearing another film’s logo may be worn only when the film hasn’t come out yet? If released for more than a month, the jacket is not to be worn — except in extreme bad weather or if the movie is about extreme weather conditions. Just thought I’d share that . . . and you’re welcome.
THIS season’s so-far big winner is Sandra Bullock. Have some Bul lockisms: “The idea of showing my body in a film fills me with fear. To strip, I have to get drunk first.” . . . And, “One lesson I learned making movies is never wear fake teeth. They made mine crooked.” . . . And, “You can never have enough candles or bath products.” . . . And, says the reformed junk foodie who did the balanced diet regimen Zone: “I lost 13 pounds and took 3½inches off my butt. I decided that once in my life, even for only one day, I will stand in public in a thong.”
More Golden Globers: Britain’s acting community carps that when they need a hit in America they cast US actresses — like Julia Roberts in “Notting Hill,” Gwyneth Paltrow in “Sliding Doors.” Award winner Helen Mirren has said: “My Hollywood status is zero. I’m not on their A-list.”
NEW York kids. Hearing about their apartment renovation’s cost, a little boy said: “I’ll help. You can stop giv ing me my allowance for a few weeks.” And Cole Presten, age 7, told his grandfather to take his allowance and “send the money to the children in Haiti.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.