Wendy, the Psychics’ Psychic, has predicted for me 27 years. Her earliest prediction said Tom Cruise would marry Mimi Rogers. Did. He also divorced her. He also married Nicole Kidman. Also divorced her. He also married Suri’s mother. Also divorced her. Wendy — taDa! — now says:
“Tom Cruise marries again. She’s mid-30ish. Long wavy hair. They make a girl baby. He further produces a hit movie which sticks him back on top. If not as a daddy or husband, at least as a box-office draw (Wendy says temporarily).
More: Charles Manson case. “Something new and shocking uncovered.”
“East 13th Street water main break. Nearby subway flooded. Huge mess.”
“Africa or Middle East military activity involves USA. Our air coverage averts the situation.”
“Movie ticket prices rise higher.”
“Sandra Bullock adopts again; writes a nutrition book.”
“Pregnant Beyoncé produces a skincare line.”
Older dude Bradley Cooper dates that twerk jerk.
Slow stock market then goes past 1700, corrects around July, dips September, then stabilizes around 1500. Zooms again year’s end.
What’s ahead
Paula Roberts, my consultant 30 years, correctly predicted December 2012 that Mount Etna would act up, which happened in November. Also steady unemployment decline from 7.90 percent October 2012 to 7.30 percent October 2013. Also local stock market gains. Nasdaq hit 4,000 first time since 2000 and Dow a record of 16,000-plus. Also:
Charter schools see temporary reprise.
More bike lanes. (Ugh!! Oyyy!!)
Gracie Mansion hosts more events. Low-cost functions.
A la London, negotiations on lower Manhattan water barriers.
GOP bigwig love child scandal.
Nevada initiates personal taxes.
Gambia goes for democracy.
Ireland’s economy improves.
Possibility of Afghan calm after two northwest warlords fight each other.
Kate and Will deliver a spare heir.
Economy up a tad, late summer.
California drought turns farms into dustbowls.
Coming down the pike
Celebrity Seer John Cohan, predicting for this column 28 years including his correct prediction of our new mayor, says:
Oprah professionally on a high, romantically in the toilet. Remakes “Sunset Boulevard” with — ready? — Brad Pitt.
The Olsen twins
quit showbiz for their fashion line. Bad choice. Future bankruptcy forces Mary-Kate and Ashley back to no biz like showbiz.
Mrs. Alec Baldwin calls 911. Big blowup.
Warren Beatty/Annette Bening’s transgender son, Stephen, born Kathleen, gets important health issues passed as a political gay rights advocate.
Streisand steps in for stepson Josh Brolin, saving him from a future DWI dustup penalty.
Steve Lawrence, lonely after losing Eydie Gorme, remarries.
Ellen DeGeneres’ love life bumpy.
Betty White does Broadway.
All good with Prince Charles and Duchess/Countess/Whatever Camilla after her quickie rehab visit.
Under the tree
Sylvia Miles’ best gift was her ears pierced. She says: “The only thing on me that hadn’t so far been penetrated.”
Sidney Poitier: “What I wanted was for my golf handicap to fall below 10.”
And there was this pushcart selling Christmassy knockoff handbags. As shoppers ambled by, the vendor called: “Lady, your purse doesn’t go with what you’re wearing.” Many stopped. Looked. And bought.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.