CARRIE Fisher, who had a disastrous marriage to CAA superagent Bryan Lourd, ridicules the idea that she changed Lourd’s sexual orientation.
In her hilarious memoir, “Wishful Drinking,” due in December from Simon & Schuster, Fisher says of Lourd, the father of her daughter Billie:
“He told me later that I had turned him gay . . . by taking codeine again. And I said, ‘You know, I never read that warning on the label.’ I thought it said ‘heavy machinery,’ not homosexuality – turns out I could have been driving those tractors all along!’ ”
The Post’s Kyle Smith reports that Fishercomes clean in the book – based on her stage show that’s been making its way around the country – about her addictions, her commitment to a mental hospital, her manic depression, and her suicidal thoughts, avoiding self-pity in favor of raucous poison penmanship.
Of her dad, Eddie Fisher, who left her mom, Debbie Reynolds, for Elizabeth Taylor after Taylor’s husband, Mike Todd, died in a plane crash: “Naturally, my father flew to Elizabeth’s side, gradually making his way to her front. He first dried her eyes with his handkerchief, consoled her with flowers, and ultimately consoled her with his penis.” Reynolds’ subsequent husbands were such disasters that she once said, “Eddie’s starting to look like the good husband.”
Of “Star Wars,” in which Fisher starred, at age 19, as Princess Leia: She was looking at her white costume when director George Lucas said, “You can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “Why?” asked Fisher. “There’s no underwear in space,” he replied.
Of her first husband, Paul Simon, who wrote “Graceland” and many other songs about her, she notes that one time, as he drove her to the airport, “I turned to him and said, ‘You’ll feel bad if I crash.’ He shrugged and said, ‘Maybe not.’ ”