HALLOWEEN. Deep superstitions parade Earth on All Hallow’s Eve. Mixed in tradition, belief and differing versions of oral history, its best known origins date to England. November 1, Year 835. All Saints Day. The Celtic pagan festival of slaughtering livestock for the winter stores. Ancient Gaels believed they must dissolve the boundary between alive and dead or whatever had gone before and beyond would return in the form of damaged food. Bonfires, costumes and masks placated evil spirits. Ghosts, ghouls, zombies, bats, witches, wizards, goblins, skeletons were creatures of the underworld. The pumpkin was the “head.”
OK, we all clear now?
Extremely superstitious Sophia Loren always wears something red and carries a packet of salt . . . Elton John eats off only Versace crockery, believing the designer’s spirit lives in every plate . . . Olympic soccer star Brandi Chastain travels with a pet purple frog in her shoe bag “to keep my shoes safe.” What she schleps along for the rest of her, I don’t know . . . Michael Jordan wears North Carolina gym shorts under his trunks . . . Eminem is scared of owls . . . Andie MacDowell turns the light switch on and off three times before going nighty-night . . . At one period, Rose McGowan, battling agoraphobia, would only leave her house once a week. In the middle of the night.
For Pierce Brosnan, it’s claustrophobia . . . Kirsten Dunst, arachnophobia. That’s spiders . . . Jennifer Aniston tried a hypnotist to cure her phobias. “Didn’t help,” she says . . . When flying, Jennifer Grey has a rigorous routine ritual: “I kiss the plane, walk in right foot first, and sit in a certain position.” . . . Stephen King, master of mystery, avoids heights . . . With Ashanti, it’s a bad recurring dream. “My whole family goes on this cruise ship, something happens to me and they’re all standing around me.” . . . Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: “I’ve dreamed I was home, and I jumped into my body, and it was falling apart, and it was alarming, and I was looking inside my foot.” Okayyyyy.
Marilyn Manson: “To me, Lucifer is a hero. He wanted to be God and wasn’t going to accept someone else’s rules, so he got kicked out of heaven and made his own rules. I grew up feeling I could never fit in. One day I realized I didn’t want to. I could make my own standards and live by them. So, now I tell people don’t be afraid. If what you do ticks someone off, too bad. Make everybody happy, and you’re an idiot.”
Chris Isaak: “I laugh at the devil. Nothing’s to fear because God outweighs him. The devil, all dressed in his red latex suit, wants to be evil but isn’t really up to it. People fear him because of that suit. It’s not so much a terrifying feeling. It’s more you just don’t want him to touch you, like you want to get away from someone with bad breath.”
Satanism stretches to medieval times. But only in the 20th century did a religion devoted to Satan become established. Someone named Anton Szandor LaVey founded The Church of Satan in 1966. In LA’s counterculture scene his Satanic Bible manifesto, published in ’69, drew celebs like the late Sammy Davis and Jayne Mansfield. Sammy thought worshipping the devil would bring strength and energy. His daughter Tracey discovered the fixation when she noted a symbol of devil worship, one of his fingernails painted red. Jayne Mansfield’s attorney Sam Brody fought her connection to it. LaVey then declared he had a premonition Brody and Jayne would end up in a car accident. A while later, Jayne and Brody, riding in Brody’s car, collided with a truck. Both were killed.
Once, playing the role of Hamlet, Daniel Day-Lewis suddenly left the stage and didn’t return. Claimed he’d seen his father’s ghost . . . Have a Lucy Liu lulu: “I was sleeping on my futon on the floor, and some sort of spirit came down from who knows where. And made love to me. And it was sheer bliss. And then floated away. And now this Something watches over me.” . . . Hamilton College historian Hans Broedel tells us traditional jack-o’-lanterns, made by the Celtics who first celebrated Halloween, were of turnips. So, he says, if you lack a carveable pumpkin, hollow out turnips. Hang them from a string or stick for use as lanterns.
SO, Connecticut breeder Paula Segna telli, who delivered my two Yorkies, overnighted with me. She carted along an extra houseguest, a 4-month-old Chihuahua she’d been given for training. The puppy wasn’t used to my apartment. Or anything else. And was understandably nervous. Placing him in a secure confined space, Paula quickly grabbed up a huge armful of Sunday newspapers to cover the entire floor area. And where did this uninvited guest in my house – partaking of food I provided, water I provided, the safe clean warm environment I provided – pee? Only, but only, on my column.
And only in New York, kids, only in New York.