Nelson Mandela health bulletins list weakness of his physical being. They cite greatness as South Africa’s first black president, anti-apartheid revolutionary, fighter for human rights, beloved figure. They mention the stress within his own family.

However, whatever issues forth from medical, political or familial sources skirt reports of mental impairment. Fragility in his cognitive processes has reached the point where, I am told, he has lost awareness. They’re saying he’s “out of it. No comprehension as to what is going on.”

Toughest kids

P.R. man George Dassinger on the heavyweight known for his 12-round victory over Muhammad Ali , whose jaw he broke: “The early ’80s my client Ken Norton was interviewed by sixth-grade schoolkids in a 42nd and Lex office conference room. I left them with juice, milk and cookies. An hour and a half later Ken comes to me, closes my door and says: ‘Don’t do that to me again.

“ ‘I’ve faced tough-as-nails boxers. I was a Marine, but those kids scared hell out of me. Asked really tough questions. Man, I was sweating. Never put me in a room again with a bunch of soon-to-be kid journalists.’ ”

Sport to court

Attorney Linda Kenney Baden (Helen Mirren played her in TV’s Phil Spector movie) and Fox News’ legal analyst Tamara Holder are launching Sports Court Media. With athletes starring in judicial playgrounds today, these ladies who’ve already rep’d big-time sports jocks have the slogan, “Let’s Play Law.” Logo? Handcuffs. With its own Eminem -style recorded rap song, the site launches Oct. 1.

Stamos seeks virginity stories

John Stamos: “Among Hollywood people who can’t commit, I’m known as a stick man.” That like being a baseball player? “No. Like being a player period. A swordsman. Always onto a new physical relationship.”

OK. So, now, Stamos’ new electronic relationship: “My Yahoo Web series ‘Losing Your Virginity.’ About celebrities discussing their first sexual experience.”

OK. “I wasn’t in love. I was a naïve, innocent 17 ³/₄ and driving a friend’s sister. She dropped her keys between her legs, and that’s what started it. We went back to my parents’ house. She was sweet and gentle. I thought, ‘I didn’t get it before but — wow! — this is what the world revolves around. Now I get it.’ ”

OK. Was she your first kiss? “No. That was Kim. At Disneyland. That was more fireworks. Mechanics were involved, but I didn’t yet know what to do.

“The show’s not lascivious. It’s fascination. Loss of innocence. A rite of passage. What you did before, after. It’s humor about yourself, not gory details. Everyone has an interesting story. One person did it in poison oak and got poison sex.

Olivia Munn did it late night in a nightclub.

“We’re doing a total of 20 episodes. Our next season rolls out in October. We’re location-sensitive. Some were shot in New York, some in my backyard.”

OK. Sponsors? “Trojans approached us, but we’re going with Greek yogurt. They’re five-minute segments. Don’t like us, change the channel.”

OK.

Reege review

Regis Philbin, not against making a few, doing a February nightclub gig with missus Joy at Palm Beach’s Colony Hotel.

Carleton Varney just redecorated its newly redone Royal Room. Salmon color with aquamarine panels. Could clash with Reege’s new hair color . . . Anyone know Mariano Rivera ’s grandma runs his charitable foundation?

On the block

Doyle is auctioning Leo Lerman’s collection. His heir Joel Kaye spoke to writer/editor Lerman, a player in America’s largest stage for a lifetime, “every day for 45 years.” Joel and sister Ellen’s father, Sidney Kaye, created 57th Street’s historic Russian Tea Room. Now building her own Delancey Street eatery, promising the usual borscht, stroganoff, Kiev, kabobs and pelmeni, Ellen says her “Moscow 57 will also feature live music.” It opens November.

***

B’way agent Lionel Larner: “So my friend had this imprinted on his cocktail napkins: “Has anyone seen my contractor?”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.