E!-TV’s “Fashion Police” is armpit-to-armpit hostility, fights, backstabbing. Forget a sergeant-at-arms. They need Bratton.
As necklines plunge, so has the program’s once haute ratings.
Beginning 2010, it flounced until producer Melissa Rivers booked her mom. Subsequently, Joan Rivers on the Oscar red carpet, Grammy red carpet, carpetless “Fashion Police” became so outrageous that even if you didn’t love her, you liked watching her. E!’s show developed into cutting-edge successful.
Today’s Oscar interviews — “What are you wearing?” and “You’re incredible!” — were unwatchable. Hosts with such grins that you could see their dentures.
The icky factor’s also hit “Fashion Police.” Kathy Griffin — talented, able — made a grab for the job while Joan lay on life support. I know. I was right there in her hospital room holding my forever friend’s hand.
However, Griffin and an E! spokesperson have denied it. Nobody will confirm this, so don’t try. Everybody’s smiles are so tight they don’t need Botox, but take my word. Kathy actually bitched to Melissa: “They won’t give me Joan’s money.” Happens Joan didn’t get Joan’s money the first years either.
Minus Joan’s strength and power, the show’s a battleground. Kelly Osbourne quit. Too many fights. Kathy Griffin, whose contract is not forever, wants Melissa Rivers gone. “Fashion Police” may soon no longer be in fashion.
Odds and Ends
Stephen Sondheim’s original song “She’ll Be Back,” for Meryl Streep’s witch in Disney’s “Into the Woods,” will come out with an intro from director Rob Marshall . . . Monday, Peter Max’s studio, Nancy Sinatra hosts Daddy’s art. Tuesday Sotheby’s features Andy Warhol and Abdullah Qandeel . . . “The Midtown Men” a.k.a. the original “Jersey Boys” cast will do whatever they do June 20, Beacon Theatre.
Dunces to meet in Philly
The DNC should be spelled DUNCE. This bunch — so savvy that they gave us Blubber Obama — stiffed Brooklyn. Their convention chose exciting, happening Philly, which closes at 10 p.m. Barclays Center’s Bruce Ratner: “Unfortunately, they picked the wrong place!”
More Brooklyn: Pay attention. Monday, March 16, Chief Judge of the Eastern District the Honorable Carol Bagley Amon presides over the Court’s 150th anniversary in what’s called “A Special Session of Court.” President Abraham Lincoln signed the bill creating it on Feb. 25, 1865, and its first session was March 22.
The patriotic hour ceremony will begin with Marines presenting the colors, our national anthem and the Met chorus singing “God Bless America.”
Pay attention
Lawrence Scott. Captivity’s most lush, lavish caterer. Events so high that the Sultan of Brunei’s sit-downs are a snack in comparison. But he pays back. Make-A-Wish honors Larry June 11 . . . QVC talking to Danielle Steel. She’ll pitch maybe jewelry . . . Diane von Furstenberg on her brown hair looking lighter: “Because it’s grayer.” . . . Cybill Shepherd schlepping around here March 18 and 19 for her ensemble movie “Do You Believe?” with Mira Sorvino, Lee Majors.
New Italian fare
Shelly Fireman, with Bond 45, Fiorello’s, Brooklyn Diner, Trattoria Dell’Arte, Redeye Grill restaurants, just opened Florian, 18th and Park Avenue South. Italian food, European statues, sexy cocktails, super décor, busy bar, downtown prices, walls of wine with four-letter labels, which you can’t drink but you can read. The place is already jammed.
For festival Harlem EatUp! a homebound elder was surprised with a gourmet Citymeals-on-Wheels lunch from Daniel Boulud and Red Rooster’s Marcus Samuelsson. But really surprised were the chefs. The lady’s name? Mrs. Kitchens.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.