What makes a star, I don’t know. But what is one, I know.
I saw one close up Monday night. And he created frenzy.
It was a screening of a film based on Hunter S. Thompson’s novel “The Rum Diary,” which opens Friday. Invitees bore names like Paz de la Huerta, Sean Lennon, Gina Gershon, Christopher Meloni, Stella Schnabel, a barely noticeable pirouetting, posing, prancing, posturing Betsey Johnson in long ruffles, short leather, patterned shawl, neon lips and yellow hair.
Nobody much cared until Johnny Depp’s arrival created a shouting shoving scrum. Masses pressed him tighter than Kim Kardashian’s push-up bra.
“He’s one of the biggest stars alive,” said the film’s director Bruce Robinson, whom you recognized was highly selective — if only from his wardrobe: long hair, untucked shirt hanging over his pants, white-laced khaki sneakers.
“I’m playing a journalist named Paul Kemp,” easy, smiling Johnny told me. “It takes place in the 1959-1960 period around the crushing conventions of America’s late Eisenhower era. It deals with politics and the USA-versus-Cuba time. Especially timely now because of today’s election news and what’s happening in the world.”
Johnny was equally colorful. Permanent navy blue cap, which matched his navy blue open-neck shirt, which matched his navy blue nail polish. Big ring on left hand. Bigger ring on right hand. Assorted silver hanging medallion necklaces. I felt his gray checked suit. Good material. The jacket had two vents.
Somehow we talked about his upcoming HBO show with Ricky Gervais.
“Ricky’s the funniest guy alive. I did a cameo for his HBO show ‘Life’s Too Short,’ which is out soon. You can’t believe things he made me do. In it I play a dwarf, and he had me shove a midget down a toilet. He has this great sense of humor. I loved working with him. He’s so hilarious, I’d marry him. My e-mail to him read: ‘Upon this debut I anticipate an immediate 95 percent plummet in my earnings. Thank you for ruining my career.”
The pirate from the Caribbean recalls when it all began for him.
“I definitely remember my beginnings. It was so long ago, but who can ever forget? My first thing was ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street.’ The movie came out in 1984. I had to audition with a lot of people they had lined up. I also remember they brought me back a few times. If you ask was I good, I’d have to tell you, ‘No, I wasn’t great.’ But, listen, I got the part.”
‘ART & Soul: Stars Unite To Celebrate and Support the Arts” is a new picture book. Photos by Brian Smith. Edited by the Creative Coalition’s Robin Bronk.
Opposite Anne Hathaway’s full-page photo, her own script writes: “An act of creation is an act of hope. Art gave me my heart.” Samuel L. Jackson: “Art is the master. I am its slave.” Kelsey Grammer: “Art questions.” Taraji P. Henson: “When I fell in love with acting, it saved my life.” Paula Abdul: “Reach for the stars … and you just might be one.” (Especially if you have Simon’s home phone.)
So giant-size big and heavy, with 246 celebrities, 25,657 photos, the book needs a grand piano, not a coffee table, on which to rest.
WANT a classy invite? How’s American Friends of Versailles’ “superb cocktail dinatoire” on Friday. “magnanimously hosted” via Princess Beatrice of Bourbon, Countess Laure de Choiseul-Praslin, Prince Jean-Christophe Napoleon, Marquise de Gana, Baronne Roland de l’Espee, Le Vicomte de Rohan, Count Charles Louis de Mortimer. We are not talking no beer-’n’-burger stand-up cash bar type event.
REEGE inviting friends for his last “Regis and Kelly” show next month … Drew Barrymore, only a few close-ups from age 40, wants a wedding and kiddies. Her newie’s named Will Kopelman … This doesn’t come up often in conversation, but Mick Jagger makes homemade jam for his pals … To hawk Japanese hair product Lux Foam, Kate Beckinsale pocketed $1.3 mil.
ANYONE actually hear athletes burble on TV? All say the same. All. Phrases like: “Well, we got a game to play. And we know that we have to win. And it’s all about winning. And that’s what we’re focused on. And we’re going to win because we’re the best, and that’s what we’re all about and we’ve got a game to play. And it’s all about the game. And that’s about all I’ve got to say.”
MICHELLE Williams: “On a shoot, I either somehow freeze or trip.” … Headline in Year 2059: “Minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.” Headline in Year 2060: “Baby conceived naturally, scientists stumped.” … Nov. 1 Zsa Zsa Gabor’s daughter Francesca Hilton doing a one-nighter gig at Carolines Comedy Club.
RICHIE Ornstein saw this sign in a Freeport, LI, supermarket: “Feed your family not the meter. Plenty of free parking in our lot.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.