Rick Perry, our temporary front-runner GOP presidential candidate, was billeted in the first-floor super-elegant Thomas Jefferson Suite at super-classy Grand Hotel in super-big-time Mackinac Island.
Even for super-sized talkers from Texas, this hotel has everything except maybe pastrami from the Second Avenue Deli. One thing it’s known for is the world’s longest porch — more than 800 feet. Said Rick Perry when he walked it: “Longest porch? Please. In Texas we’d consider it a windowsill.”
SAM
Shepard is among us. Or, at least, was. Pulling in for a day, he did p.r. for his new film “Blackthorn,” shot in Bolivia. An actor who also writes plays, Mr. Shepard is aware of words. Asked why Bolivia, he answered:
“Because it’s cheap.”
Then: “South America’s poorest country. Seventy percent of the population is Indian. And rife with superstitions. In the mountains an Indian lady appeared suddenly from nowhere flailing her arms, shrieking loudly. I didn’t know what was happening but stopped instantly. They later explained she believes white faces are ghosts who will tear her belly out and eat her intestines.
“The culture is distinct. Packs of dogs behind barbed wire. In one scene I was trying to herd a llama, which is indigenous to the area, and people were screaming. Their belief is the pregnant animal, seeing white people, would abort or deliver a stillborn baby.
“Spanish is not their first language. They speak many dialects, as did our crew. Translators with us told us what was happening.
“Wasn’t easy working at 1,500 feet, where the air is thin and hard to breathe. Our hotel rooms had tanks of air, and on location auxiliary oxygen went around. We shot in places so remote that driving to the location took two hours.
“The area’s spectacular. Too high for insects, but there were gorgeous birds in the Andes, all different colors. Plus alpaca and vicuna, which is an endangered species. They ran around like little pet animals.
“I did my own stunts and horseback riding. I had no trepidation like walking at night or worrying about muggings or robbery. But it was hard going. A handful of days in one location then move across country. Our catering service, from remote little towns, was great. They moved with us. Followed wherever we went. I ate lots of Bolivian food. Like their black potatoes. Llama’s pretty bland. Tastes like lamb steak.”
The story is an imagined continuation of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with Cassidy (Sam Shepard), now named Blackthorn, living out his years in a remote Bolivian village.
“It’s a Spanish production. Limited money. It was sent to my agent. Best script I’ve seen in 10 years, and it included working with my friend Stephen Rea.”
ADVERTISING is going upscale. JB Smoove, Larry David’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” roommate, addresses the industry tomorrow … Herman Cain, who heated up last week’s GOP food fight, looking to invade NYC … Ashton Kutscher going naked in his TV series role triggered a police action. Jealous cops want him to file in Small Claims Court … This week’s hot designer Jason Wu, showing a skirt skimpier than a Q-tip, refused to lengthen it for a prospective buyer.
DENNIS Quaid, a Baptist with a preacher grampa, plays Reverend Shaw in “Footloose,” which gets loosened the 14th: “I grew up in the culture, and my life was preparation, so I understood it. Never playing a preacher before, it was important to me that the sermons be authentic.”
JENNIFER
Aniston, who changes guys, now wants to change homes. Her new boyfriend and she aren’t happy in their downtown apartment. Paparazzi pop up all over. She doesn’t know where they’re hiding because there are no trees nearby. Barely weeks in residence, she’s muttering she’s “had it” with Manhattan. I don’t know — folks like Madonna, Gaga, Gwyneth, Harrison, Anderson, Regis, Matt, Katie, Woody, Donald, Alec, Spike, Yoko, Bette, Liza, Tina, Sarah
Jessica, Julianne and Julianna, A-Rod, Derek, De Niro, Keitel, Hanks, Damon, find it OK.
MADISON Square Garden did a food tasting. Edibles for when the joint reopens late October. Liam
Neeson and John
McEnroe sampled every goody. Billy
Crudup inhaled stuffed lobster. Earl “The Pearl” Monroe ate his own Burger with Cheese, Bacon and Onion Jam (whatever-the-hell that is). Steve
Schirippa vacuumed up Carmellini’s Sausage and Peppers. Padma
Lakshmi did shrimp rolls.
THE Copacabana’s newest incarnation — with its high-class restaurant and soon-exclusive rooftop — opened with a no-jeans-allowed rule. They soon learned what to do with their ruling. Jeans — classy, not cut-off patched jobs — are now allowed.
UPPER West Side man walks to work in Midtown. During the half-hour stroll, he sees 13 bicyclists. Only one is obeying the traffic laws: a uniformed bicycle cop.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.