So much to report that, I tell you the truth, I myself can’t wait to hear what I have to say:
1. Mariah Carey. Not ecstatic Nicki Minaj might join “American Idol.” Hot possibility Nicki is keeping her mouth shut — but, to goose ratings, everyone knows the show would grab Queen Elizabeth to be a judge if they could.
Miss Mariah mightn’t mind Her Majesty, but she does mind Her Minajness. All the players are acting happy happy over there and flashing more smiles than at a dental convention, but ecstatic Mariah is not.
2. Rick Hilton, previously ID’d as Paris Hilton’s daddy, is now known as the heavy-duty Realtor who unloaded the late “Dynasty” producer Aaron Spelling and Candy Spelling’s California hut. Humongous, 57,000 acres, $150 million, it was in Holmby Hills. In fact it was Holmby Hills.
Rick’s struck again. Just sold the Malibu property owned by Yahoo’s one-time chief Terry Semel. Semel wanted $50 mil. But times are bad. Rick got him 37.
3. Speaking of where to lay your head, there’s Anderson Cooper’s reconfigured firehouse. Although redone, renovated etc., etc., certain details were left. Remaining is an adjacent original barn where the firefighters kept their horses.
Also those sliding fire poles? Upon which classy elegant well-bred types like to pole-dance? Still there. Still in place. Still polished. Should there be another crisis, should CNN call, it’s still the fastest way to slide floor-to-floor.
COURTNEY Love. This isn’t what I planned to report, but I thought you’d want to hear she goes to Julian Schnabel’s place and plinks guitar while he paints. Like I say, this has nothing to do with anything, but I figured you’d like to know.
I planned to report that Courtney is now mentoring Harry Brant, son of polo-playing Peter Brant. And why Courtney, whose lifestyle proves she could use a little mentoring herself, is mentoring a billionaire’s kid and how and for what specific reason she’s mentoring him who wouldn’t seem to be in need of much heavy-duty mentoring, no idea.
BOB Balaban. Writes books. Directs plays. Acts in movies. Shows up at every event between here and Latvia.
“My Culture Project play ‘The Exonerated’ opens Wednesday the 19th on Bleecker Street,” he shouted over some cocktail party din. On the phone, again he was making himself heard over noise. “I’m home, children are here, my wife’s out shopping and I’m trying to get some peace and quiet.
“This play I set up 10 years ago. I’ve got half a dozen stars who know what they’re doing and, sitting on stools, are reading scripts. They rotate because nobody will do a six-month run, and without names people don’t come. Each is paid minimum scale. I figured the idea would work because at least my friends and investors will show.
“The play, a moral issue not a diatribe, is 98 minutes. Some say most people are guilty and if we punish a few who are innocent — so be it. But this is based on witnesses, documents and confessions showing that many are imprisoned 20 years for crimes they didn’t commit. They’re inside while the real criminal is out.
“You needn’t be anti-death penalty. Brian Dennehy, a Republican who stands for his party’s principles, is in favor of it. I, personally, see 30 sides to everything, but audiences need to hear these stories told.
“Like the 55-year-old Jewish girl from New Jersey who served 17 years on death row until someone confessed. Like one who was finally released and married another rescued prisoner. Young kids sat in their kitchens and wrote down every word these individuals said. We’re focusing on six cases, all of whom receive a portion of this project’s income.”
TO defray the late Levon Helm’s debts, a Love for Levon benefit, featuring types like Gregg Allman and John Mayer, is Oct. 3. The Izod Center . . . Author George Sullivan, whose next is “Mr. President: A Book of US Presidents,” now doing a Mitt Romney biography . . . Julianne Moore, dining with kids at Gina La Fornarina, tipped $100 on four pizzas.
AT the Republican convention: Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly. And for the same reason.
At the Democratic convention: The far right doesn’t want to help the country. It just wants to get rid of Obama.
CROWN publishers’ “Michael Douglas: A Biography,” with his full photo covering the front jacket, tells his “tumultuous relationship with father Kirk Douglas,” and “early days as a hippie in San Francisco.” The book was sent to me.
A call to Michael brings this message: He knows nothing about this, wants nothing to do with this.
CASEY Exton reports Bagels & Beyond in Surf City, NJ, sells a popular dish. Bologna, ham and fragrant cheese. It’s called Proud American. With those ingredients, it should be called Proud Politician.
Only in New Jersey, kids, only in New Jersey.