Hollywood’s top divorce lawyer Laura Wasser was careful not to give up any secrets about her celebrity clients in her book, “It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way: How To Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself.”

The rock star who showed up at court four hours late with his disheveled ex-wife-to-be — and explained, “We were shagging in the back of her car” — was a bass player for a minor band, Wasser said, not Slash of Guns N’ Roses.

“I couldn’t use the best stories for obvious reasons,” Wasser told The Post’s Richard Johnson. “The unnamed people I mention in the book are not recognizable.”

There’s the wife who sabotaged her husband’s wine collection before she moved out of their marital abode. “At some tremendous effort, she had managed to steam the labels off all of the several hundred bottles . . . rendering the collection worthless in the global wine market,” Wasser wrote. That doesn’t sound like Wasser’s clients Mariah Carey, Angelina Jolie and Maria Shriver.

Another spiteful spouse agreed to let her husband keep their mansion, but stuffed seafood into the curtain rods before she left. When the husband and his new bride couldn’t get rid of the ensuing stench, they put the house on the market and sold it at a huge loss to the only bidder, the ex-wife, who quickly fixed the smelly problem. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Patricia Arquette and Laura Dern would never be so vindictive.